The Three Nerima Stooges (Your Lie in April comedy AU fic)
by jlgarfield
Summary: (AU) Left on the doorstep of an orphanage/bakery, Watari, Tsubaki and their friend Kaori spend their time eye poking and slapping each other all the day long. But when their bakery/orphanage suddenly goes bankrupt, the three set out to save it by journeying into the world to find a way to raise the money required. But their quest brings them into being used in a murder scheme...
1. A BRIEF DISCLAIMER

**A BRIEF DISCLAIMER  
**Hi, all. This fic came to me one day, and before you read this story, please be advised: While the original Your Lie in April story (and my previous fic, His Lie in April) is a sad one, but this is an alternate universe fic based on the 2012 film adaptation of The Three Stooges; as such, this is a more comedic version of YLiA; also, a few details of the backstory of the characters have been changed, but this will be explained at the end.

Please do NOT post rude/degrading comments about the fic... it's meant as a more comedic take on the story; on top of that, you will be in for a twist at the end. What is it? Well, you'll have to read this story. With that said, please enjoy The Three Nerima Stooges! :D


	2. Chapter 1 - Arimas & Miyazonos

**CHAPTER 1: THE ARIMAS AND MIYAZONOS/DAYS OF JOY….. AND CRAZINESS**

Once upon a time, in the Nerima ward of Tokyo, Japan, there was a bakery/orphanage. Yes, you read that right. A bakery and an orphanage. It was operated by both the Arima and Miyazono families.

On this particular day, a group of kids were playing softball with a few wooden sticks and tennis balls happily. However, a pregnant woman, wearing a business suit angrily blew her whistle. "Everybody inside! Come on! Time for your chores!" One of the children, a boy said, "But it's a tie, Mrs. Miyazono!" Another child, a girl said "Yeah. Can we play at least one more inning?"

The woman, Ryoko Miyazono, angrily barked at the group "No, you can't! Now get inside! And pick up those wooden sticks and tennis balls and put them all back in the equipment shed where they belong!" A third child, another girl, said, "But you have to hear us out, Mrs. Miyazono!" The group of orphan kids then broke into song.

_We didn't ask for this,_  
_We didn't pray for this,_  
_I may not have a sis or known my mother's kiss..._  
_But that doesn't matter because..._  
_Everybody is special!_  
_We're not inconsequential!_

The angry Ryoko then stopped their song. "SHADDUP! What do you morons think this is, The Sound of Music? Get in there! Come on! Enough with the damn singing!" With that, all the orphan kids went back into the orphanage. "Come on, come on, move it. No wonder your parents didn't want you morons..." As Ryoko went into the orphanage, she went into a room, where a second pregnant woman was waiting for her.

"So, Saki... when is your child due? What gender will it be? What names do you have planned for it?" The second woman, Saki Arima, then told Ryoko "Oh, Ryoko, it'll be due by the end of March. Very soon. I will have a son... and he'll be named Kousei. What about you, Ryoko? What about your child?" Ryoko responded with "I will have a daughter... and my plan is that I will call her Kaori." Saki smiled at Ryoko. "You know, you and I are going to share days of joy very soon. It feels so wonderful."

_~ONE MONTH LATER, MARCH 28~  
_At Totsuhara Hospital, Saki and Takahiko Arima had dreamed of this day for a while now. The time had come for the Arimas to greet their new son. March 28 was a joyous day for Saki and Takahiko. As Saki held her new son, she felt great joy within her. "Welcome to the world, Kousei Arima... I've been preparing for this day for a while now... you will be the light of everyone's life from now on. You will be in store for big and great things... we will love you forever, Kousei." Saki said.

Takahiko laid eyes on his new son and said "Kousei... there's a great big world waiting for you to grab it by the horns... you will be fulfilling a lot of dreams!" Their new son was named Kousei Arima. Indeed, Saki and Takahiko had big dreams for their new son. Saki was a musician herself, so it would make sense that her son, would, one day, become one himself as well. For the Arimas, today was a dream come true for them. A few months later, the Miyazonos would have their turn.

_~FOUR MONTHS LATER, JULY 4~  
_At the same hospital where Kousei was born, it was now the Miyazonos turn to welcome in their child. It was a girl. "Kaori Miyazono... consider yourself our new daughter. We have such high hopes for you." Ryoko said. Yoshiyuki smiled at her new daughter and said "Kaori... I look forward to being your father. You will be possibly one of the greatest girls around! You are quite cute!" Indeed, the Arimas and Miyazonos now had a bundle of joy on their hands. Ryoko, however, knew she had to cool down her irascible and cranky temper around her new daughter. Both of them took great pride in their new children, one a son, one a daughter.

_~TWO WEEKS LATER~_  
Saki and Ryoko discussed their new son and daughter to them. Ryoko asked Saki, "So, what are your dreams with your new son, Kousei?" Saki "I am hopeful that he will be my successor and become a famous pianist. What about your daughter, Kaori, Ryoko?" Ryoko smiled. "You know... maybe she might follow in your and your son's lead and play the violin. It's amazing what having a child can do to your life, Saki..." Saki smiled. "Yes, indeed..."

Just then, someone in an old Nissan sports car, blaring out loud rock music, dropped off a sack at the front door of the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage, while it drove away. Ryoko then said, noticing the car's loud music, "Would you excuse me, Saki? I heard some loud music and I saw someone in a car drop something off at our door. I need to go check on what the heck it is." Saki said "Alright, Ryoko. You do that." Ryoko then went over to the entrance of the Bakery/Orphanage.

At that very moment, both the lives of the Arimas and Miyazonos would suddenly see their whole world turned upside down. Ryoko Miyazono went over to the entrance of their establishment and looked at the sack. "Hmm... what could this be?" A note? I'll read it later, I just want to know what's in this bag..." She unzipped the bag and checked inside, only to be poked in the eyes, causing her to tumble backwards and land on the porch, stunned. Hiroko Seto, a friend of Saki's, discovered the bag outside. In the bag were two babies, one a boy, one a girl, and both with brown hair. The two babies giggled.

"Who are these two?" Hiroko wanted to know. Just then, Yoshiyuki Miyazono, Kaori's father, noticed his keeled-over wife Ryoko Miyazono, with her face looking dazed and confused. Ryoko said, trying to come back to her senses, "Son of a bitch! They poked me!" Hiroko said, "Good lord. Mr. Arima, come quickly!" Takahiko Arima then came over to the two babies, and they had something to say about them. "Oh, my. Angels from heaven!" said Takahiko.

Ryoko, trying to forget what had happened to her earlier, said as she came back to her senses, "They're like the Holy Trinity. I get to give them the first bottle." Yoshiyuki then said, "Let me give them a bath." Hiroko then asked, "Can they sleep in my room tonight?" Takahiko then told the others, "Now hold on, friends. Everyone's going to get their turn." He then read the letter regarding who they were. "Hmm... these two babies have no place to go, their names are Tsubaki and Ryota [call him Watari]... hope you can take care of them! Well, guys, looks like we two new kids to take under our wing... they'll be good with Kousei and Kaori! As I said, everyone is going to get their turn with all four of them!"


	3. Chapter 2 - It's Not My Turn

**CHAPTER 2: "IT'S NOT MY TURN!"**

~SEVEN YEARS LATER~  
A frazzled Saki Arima, just about exasperated with Kaori and her two friends head-bopping and slapping each other crazy, said, in a harried tone of voice to Takahiko, Hiroko Seto and Yoshiyuki Miyazono, "It's not my turn! Get somebody else!" Hiroko Seto went up to Saki. "Are you okay, Saki?" Saki said "Oh, yes, yes, I hope so…" Her breathing was somewhat labored.

Takahiko Arima then asked, "Well, Yoshiyuki, how 'bout you? Will you please tell Kaori and her friends to come down for lunch?" Hiroko said, "I would, Mr. Arima, I swear I would, but the doctor told me to steer clear of them for a couple of weeks, on account of my nerves." What about you, Saki?" Saki said, "Oh, yeah. Just like the Army. Put ME on the front line. Uh-uh. I'm not going to do it. What about Ryoko Miyazono? She knows how to handle them."

Takahiko then said "Oh, poor thing. She has a toothache, so she went to lie down. Where are Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki?" Hiroko then said "Let me check on Kousei. He says he's been walking funny lately, and he's been blacking out on occasion…."

Meanwhile, in another room, two girls and a boy were busy examining a just about dazed Ryoko Miyazono's teeth. They were none other than Kaori Miyazono, Tsubaki Sawabe and Ryota Watari, who were all seven years old. The little Kaori said "Huh? I haven't seen a case like this in years….." All Ryoko could do is just let out grunts. Watari then said, "Look at all that metal in her mouth." Tsubaki then said to the two, "Must be too much iron in the water…"

Watari then said "Don't you worry, Ms. Miyazono. You're in good hands with us. We'll get that bum tooth out in no time flat! Let's get to work!" Kaori then said, "Anesthetic!" Tsubaki said "Anesthetic!" Watari then said "Anesthetic!" and got out a croquet mallet. Kaori then said "Fifteen milligrams. Give!" Watari then said "Five, ten, fifteen!"

Watari then hit Ryoko's head with the mallet. It did nothing, and Ryoko remained in a dazed state. Takahiko Arima then called out the three. "Kaori! Tsubaki! Watari! Open up, please!" Kaori then said, "Give us a moment, Mr. Arima!" Kaori then said to both Watari and Tsubaki: "It's the head penguin." They got into a gridiron football-like huddle. Kaori gave this signal: "Boxcar seven on three. Break! One, two, three."

The three then flipped the table that Ryoko was lying on, now showing a side with a cloth on it, like a dinner table. Takahiko then said, "I said open this door, you guys!" Kaori was pretending to play her violin, while Tsubaki and Watari were pretending to read a book, and paint. Takahiko wanted to know, "What are you three doing?" Kaori then said, "Just dabbling in the arts." Watari replied with "Indubitably." Takahiko then told the three "Oh. Well, lunch is ready, you three." Watari was excited, as were Kaori and Tsubaki. "Oh, boy! Eats!" Watari let out a "Woob-woob-woob" as they went down to eat.

Just then, Hiroko then alerted the Arimas and Miyazonos "You're not going to believe this. That rich couple just called. They're gonna be here in five minutes." Takahiko then said "Oh, goodness! But we're not prepared. Alright, well, you'd better inform all the children and tell them to make themselves all presentable." Hiroko then asked Takahiko, "What about Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari? And Kousei too?" Takahiko then said "Well, you know what to do, just throw them some chew toys and keep them out of sight." Yoshiyuki Miyazono was the next to speak. "We were thinking that maybe this time we should hide the other kids and then, with a little divine intervention, we could….." Saki Arima then said "It's called the bait and switch." Takahiko then gasped. He added, "Absolutely not! As much as I love to see both Watari and Tsubaki get adopted, I'm afraid they're not ready yet. And I can't chance scaring off another couple."

Just then, Ryoko Miyazono, who had just gained full consciousness earlier, but looking still kind of dazed, came into the room. Ryoko then said, her voice sounding a bit hoarse "That's it! I quit!" Takahiko then asked "What, Ryoko?" Yoshiyuki asked his wife "Why are you walking like a zombie, Ryoko?" Ryoko then said "It's too dangerous living around here with Kaori, her two friends and Kousei. I need a safer working environment."

Takahiko asked Ryoko "But where would you go?" Ryoko then said "Don't worry about me, Mr. Arima. You know Yoshiyuki's brother and Kaori's uncle, Seiya, who lives in Canada?" Yoshiyuki then asked his wife, "What about Seiya?" Ryoko then said "Well, you know how Seiya knows about the Canadian Football League? They have other teams besides the one in Saskatchewan." Yoshiyuki nodded at Ryoko and said to her, "You are right, Ryoko. There _are_ other teams in the CFL besides the Riders." Ryoko continued on with, "I talked to Seiya recently and he said that the CFL team in the Alberta capital, what's the name of that city?" Hiroko then said "Edmonton." Ryoko continued, "Edmonton, yeah, their CFL team, what is their name?"

Yoshiyuki then said "Eskimos." Ryoko, again: "Yeah, the Edmonton Eskimos. Seiya told me they need an athletic trainer, and Seiya is going to hook me up with the Eskimos for that job." Yoshiyuki put some cold water on that plan. "Ryoko, dearie, you can't just go to Canada like that! What about our daughter, Kaori? And her two friends, and even Kousei? And even the Arimas? Can't you take them into consideration?" Ryoko then sighed. "I guess you're right….. there's so many hoops I'd need to overcome to work in Canada….." Takahiko then stopped all of them, and said "Okay, hold on, everybody. Just wait a minute." Takahiko sighed, and said, "Have Kaori and her friends meet me in my office."


	4. Chapter 3 - A Misunderstanding

**CHAPTER 3: A MISUNDERSTANDING  
**Just then, a rich couple arrived at the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage. They were the Kishidas and they were looking for a child to adopt. They were Yumi and Takayoshi. Yumi Kishida, the wife, said "I hope you'll forgive us for coming early. We just couldn't stand to wait another day." Takahiko Arima then said, "Oh, we understand, Mrs. Kishida. This is a great surprise. We have four delightful youngsters for you to meet." Mr. Kishida asked Takahiko, "Four? We were under the impression there were more than that." Yoshiyuki Miyazono then said to the Kishidas "Nope, that's it. Just these four. Children, get on in here. Mr. and Mrs. Kishida don't have all day."

The little Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari, as did little Kousei, who walked slowly, came in. Kaori then sang, "Hello….." with Tsubaki singing "Hello….." and then Watari sang "Hello….." with the three friends reaching a crescendo on their singing with "Hello!" The three friends did a little running around in circles, before they bopped each other's heads. The little Kousei shyly said "Hi…. how are you…. guys doing?"

It was one of the earliest signs that Kousei had a certain unknown, but potential, life-threatening disease, although this was not known for sure. He was also walking slowly, as well. Yumi Kishida said regarding the four, "How precious." Yoshiyuki added "Yes, I certainly don't envy you having to choose between such amazing children." Each of the four children then made their case to the Kishidas. Tsubaki came first. "The choice is easy. I'm your guy!" Tsubaki did a little tap dancing, alongside a few softball-esque moves. Yumi remarked "Absolutely adorable. She's pretty athletic." Kaori came next. "Recede, Bojangles. Pick me. I make the best potato peel and eggshell smoothies in town. Oh, and I can awesome violin skills!" Takayoshi smiled at Kaori. Then, Watari made his case. "If you choose me, I'll let you play with my pet rat, Akamaru. I even taught him a few tricks. That, and I can play soccer well!" Takahiko smiled. "Oh, boys and their rodents." And lastly, Kousei. All he could say was "Um….. I can play….. the piano…. well?"

Just then, another young child, a boy, came up all the people and asked, "Mr. Arima, may I have a glass of milk, please?" Yumi asked "Oh, who is this?" The boy introduced himself. "Hi, my name is Masao, and someday I'm going to have a cat." Takayoshi's laid his doting eyes on Masao. "Oh my God. He's wonderful." Yumi then said, "I thought you said there were only the four." Yoshiyuki said to the Kishidas "I never said that. I said about four." Takahiko instructed Masao, "Alright, Masao, get in line with the others. Go ahead." Masao did as told. He lined between the foursome of Kousei, Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki. The little Watari growled. Kaori instructed him, "Down, boy." Takahiko then said to the five kids, "Straighten up, boys. Mr. and Mrs. Kishida have a big decision to make."

Takayoshi came up to Masao. "Masao, this is going to be a day you'll never forget. My wife and I have decided that our family won't be complete until you tell the blond girl that he's coming home with us!" He then turned his attention to Kaori. "What do you say, girl? You want to be part of a real family?" Kaori smiled at Takayoshi. "Boy, would I ever!" She then came over and hugged the Kishidas.

As Kousei, Watari, Kaori and Tsubaki gathered outside of the Bakery and Orphanage, it was quite a bittersweet day for Kaori. She was being adopted, but it was quite bittersweet for the rest of her friends. She told them "If you guys are ever out in Yokohama…." Kaori sniffled, and continued with "….having fun and enjoying the harbor, you'll look me up, right?" Tsubaki told Kaori "Sure, Kaori. We'll, you know, keep in touch." Then, Kaori broke up the sadness by telling her friends, "Ah! Quit your blubbering, guys! What are you trying to do? Rain on my parade?" Watari then said "No, Kaori. These are tears of joy. Honest." Kousei smiled at Kaori. "Good luck….. out there, with the…. Kishidas…." Kaori then asked the three "You guys mind if I have something to remember you by?" Tsubaki then said, "You name it, Kaori…." Just then, Kaori ripped a lock of hair out of both Tsubaki and Watari. She did not do the same to Kousei, but she did give him a kiss on the cheek. Kousei shed a tear and said, "Thanks….. Kaori….. this is quite bittersweet….. I'll miss…. ya." Kaori said "This isn't goodbye, you guys. It's…. until we meet again."

Shortly after this, the Miyazonos realized they had made a mistake. Upon realizing that they took Kaori, Ryoko said "Oh, my god! We've made a mistake! There's been a misunderstanding! We weren't supposed to have included either Kousei or Kaori for adoption! She's my daughter, and we accidentally included her when we shouldn't have! How are we going to get her back, Yoshiyuki?" Yoshiyuki said Ryoko "We'll try and call the Kishidas home phone and explain the mix-up….." Ryoko said "You're right. We need to call them ASAP….. tell her that we need our daughter back….."

Meanwhile, inside the Kishida's car, Takayoshi said, "Hey, Kaori, if that's your name, do you know what day today is?" Kaori said, "No clue…." Takayoshi said, "It's your birthday!" Kaori said "Really?" Yumi said, "To us, it is, because today is the day that you came into our lives. So, what would you like as a birthday present?" Kaori was holding a lollipop in her hand. "Uh, I'm good. This lollipop's really hitting the spot." Takayoshi said "Now, come on. There's gotta be something that would make your birthday complete. Just go crazy, champ. Anything your heart desires." Kaori said "Well, when you put it that way." Kaori whispered into Yumi's ear.

Takayoshi said "Well, what is it?" Yumi said, "She, uh… she wants us to go back and get her four friends." Takayoshi told Kaori "Kaori, four youngsters are an awful lot to take on all at once." Kaori said, "Don't you see, dad, that's the beauty of it. It's not gonna cost you a dime extra. Them five termites can bunk with me. I'll even split my meals with them." Yumi said, "Yeah, I don't know, Kaori…" Kaori said to them, "And you don't have to worry about sending them to fancy schools because they're not interested in reading or numbers. Heavy lifting and ditch digging, that's their dream." Takayoshi said "Wow. Those guys really mean a lot to you, don't they?" Kaori sighed "They're all I've ever had….." Yumi said, "Kaori's right, honey. We can't separate Kaori and her friends." Kaori smiled "There we go. That's my mom talking."

With that out of the way, Kaori was dropped back off at the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage. They instead picked up Masao; unbeknown to Kaori then, she was told that she should not have been taken up for adoption, being the daughter of the one of the families that operated the establishment. Nonetheless, Kaori was greatly saddened.

Kaori wailed at the Kishidas as they drove off with Masao, "Forget it! It was a bad idea! I don't want nothing! Mommy, daddy, please! Don't go…" It was to no avail. Kousei, Tsubaki and Watari then saw the somewhat depressed Kaori. Watari said "Kaori! You came back?" Kousei said "What happened?" Tsubaki told Kaori, "C'mon, Kaori, spit it out!" Kaori then told her friends "Ah, they were full of baloney. As soon as we got on the road, they start spouting off about me eating my veggies and washing behind my ears and chores! Get this, they wanted me to clean the pool and squeegee the tennis courts. Every week! Oh, and by the way…"

Kaori then flicked Watari and Tsubaki's noses. She then told them "That's for all the stupid things you did while I was gone." Tsubaki sighed "I told you she'd find out…." Kaori said to her friends, "C'mon, guys, let's have play with Kousei and then go start a small brushfire and whiz it out….."


	5. Chapter 4 - Working-Kousei's Health

**CHAPTER 4: WORK, WORK, WORK/KOUSEI'S HEALTH  
**_~EIGHT YEARS LATER~  
_It was now the present day. Kousei, by now was spending most of his days just in the orphanage; his health was starting to deteriorate. Saki, had in the eight-year interim period, died from a heart attack five years prior, and Kousei was now worried that his condition might have been inherited. So, he didn't talk to his friends as much, just his father, Hiroko and the Miyazonos.

But, as for Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki, they were still toiling around the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage. The Miyazonos, Takahiko Arima and Hiroko Seto all convened outside of the establishment. There were a bunch of whirring and hammering sounds heard in the background. Ryoko Miyazono asked her husband, Yoshiyuki, "What time is it right now, Yoshiyuki?" Yoshiyuki replied with "11:00 AM." Ryoko said "So it's 11:00 AM and nothing rang. Weren't Kaori and her two moron friends supposed to fix the bell last week?"

Takahiko Arima told Ryoko, "Have patience, Ryoko, they do their best." One of the assistants to the Arimas and Miyazonos, a man, said "At least they're working on something in there." A second assistant, a woman, said "Yeah, they've been at it all morning." Ryoko then said, "Yeah, well, would you excuse me, Yoshiyuki, Hiroko, Takahiko? I think I'll go have a little word with them." With that, Ryoko went into a shack that served as the "Workshop" that Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki worked in.

Ryoko then demanded "When are you clowns going to fix that..." Ryoko stopped momentarily. She said "Huh?" It turned out that the hammering and whirring sounds were coming from an MP3 player (that was attacked to a single speaker) which played it on loop. Ryoko stopped the MP3 player. Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki were actually sleeping, and in weird positions at that. Kaori, wearing a sports bra and biker shorts, was also drooling a little. Ryoko sighed, and said, "Jeez. I knew it... well, when all else fails, just sound the horn..." She then pulled a micro air horn, roughly the size of a tube of lipstick, out of one the pockets of her business suit. Ryoko put on earplugs, due to the loud noise it would make.

Ryoko then pushed the button of the air horn, and this woke up Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki. All three of them started running around in a straight line, confused. Kaori, startled, said "Oh, my god! We're under attack! Look out, guys!" Watari said "Did we win the soccer game?!" with Tsubaki saying "Help me! There's an ambulance nearby!"

Watari looked through a pair of binoculars. "It's Ryoko Matoi... she's 100 yards/meters out and closing fast!" Watari then put down the binoculars and exclaimed fearfully at the sight of Kaori's mother. Ryoko then admonished the three. "Kaori, you're lucky that I, your mother, am not in charge of this operation, or your two friends would've been run out of here a long time ago! Now, get up on that roof and fix the damn bell, you no-good lazy bums! Tsubaki said, "Who are you calling lazy?" Ryoko fired back with "All of you! And if any of yous have got a problem with it, you can step forward right now!" Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari stepped back momentarily. Ryoko then told them "Oh yeah? You got something to say?"

Kaori then instructed Watari "Go ahead, champ. Show her who's boss!" This led to a quarrel, where Watari did his "Woob-woob-woob" and a few finger tricks, but Ryoko cracks her fingers. Watari then barked at her, only to be hissed back and he and the others went to work on the bell. All three of them were now in what would be considered workout clothing; Kaori was in a pair of black biker shorts and a Saskatchewan Roughriders shirt, Tsubaki was wearing biker shorts, and a workout top (that covered her midriff, though), and Watari was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a polo shirt; each person was wearing Nike shoes.

All three of them said as they held a ladder together "And left, right, left! Left, right, left! Left, right, left! Left, right, left!" As they came close to the wall, Kaori instructed Watari and Tsubaki "And company halt! Drop anchor!" They put down the ladder and put it on the wall so they could access the bell on the roof. All three of them said "Success!" in succession, first by Kaori, then Tsubaki, and finally Watari. Kaori then instructed "All right, break it up." Tsubaki said "How're we going to get at the bell? It's hiding in that box." Kaori told Tsubaki "Why don't you go buy a hat with some brains in it? We'll cut it open. It may be a tough nut to crack, but we can do it!"

Kaori then asked Watari, "Hey, shaggy hair, go on back to the shed and grab the chainsaw." Watari then said, "Why doesn't Tsubaki go?" Kaori said "'Cause she's got a headache." Tsubaki objected "No, I don't, Kaori!" Kaori then hit Tsubaki on the head with a hammer. Kaori then asked "How about now?" Tsubaki paused, then said "Yeah, it's coming on." Just then, Kousei Arima, who was peering from a third story window, said to his friends "Hey... guys."

Kaori said "Kousei! How are you?" Kousei replied with "Fine... guys. They've checked on me, and even though not much progress has been made with me, I guess, well... no news is good news." Watari asked "So, who won Monopoly last night?" "Sayaka. I came pretty close, though..." Kousei said. Tsubaki said, "Sayaka? Yeah, but she wears those sunglasses, you can't tell what she's thinking. We've got work to do, talk to you later, Kousei." Kousei smiled and waved. "See ya..."

Just then, a man came to the doorstep of the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage. Hiroko Seto said, "Who are you?" The man said "My name is Shigeru Arima. I'm the CEO of Arima/Miyazono Industries, which is the company that oversees this business." Yoshiyuki said "Kousei's uncle! We weren't expecting you." Shigeru informed Hiroko and Yoshiyuki "I need to speak to talk to my brother, Takahiko. It's a rather urgent business matter."

Meanwhile, in another room, was Kousei Arima, shirtless and bedridden. His mentor, who was now more-or-less his motherly figure since Saki's passing, Hiroko Seto, came in to check on him. "Kousei... how are you?" Kousei, said, with a somewhat weakened voice "Oh, okay... some days... I have seizures, others I... just black out, and even... a few... I can't remember my own name..." Hiroko then went over to Kousei, and held his hands. "Your mother... she still lives within you, right?"

Kousei sighed and said "I'm still... traumatized... Over her... heart attack... and how she... died in my arms... five years ago..." Hiroko then told her with a motherly tone, as Kousei began to cry "You can bet your ass she still loves you, despite all that..." Kousei, as he sobbed, said... "I hope I don't go her way..." Hiroko then said "You will ALWAYS have us. Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari... they'll always have you."


	6. Chapter 5 - Misadventures in Maintenance

**CHAPTER 5: MISADVENTURES IN MAINTENANCE  
**Meanwhile, back up on the roof of the business, there were Kaori and Tsubaki, figuring out how access the bell. Kaori, somewhat annoyed and impatient, said "Dammit, where's Watari with that chainsaw?" Tsubaki replied "How should I know, Kaori?" Kaori then said "Well, come on, let's try to pry this thing off..." Kaori got out a crowbar and put it in the shutters of the bell. "All right, we'll get this done the right way. Watch yourself. Wedge it..." Unfortunately, their attempts of opening the shutters with the crowbar were unsuccessful. "Well, jeez. This is quite a tough nut to crack... we're getting nowhere fast."

Just then, something dawned on Kaori. "Wait a minute. Lightbulb! Hey, Tsubaki, grab that sledgehammer. On the count of three, hit down on this thing." Tsubaki got the sledgehammer nearby and said to Kaori "You got it." She had it at the ready as Kaori tried again to open the shutters with the crowbar. "Starting to get a half a brain in my skull here." Kaori then pulled down on the crowbar, saying as she did this "One, two, three..."

As Kaori said "three", Tsubaki then slammed the sledgehammer on the crowbar, only to accidentally hit Kaori's left hand. "OW, JEEZ! TSUBAKI, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE HITTING THAT THING!" Tsubaki then said, "Sorry, Kaori, it was an honest mistake. Honest!" Kaori then said "Oh, that's okay, kid. Mistakes can happen in the best of families. This sledgehammer is probably just a tad off-kilter..." Tsubaki said "Yeah, it did feel a little funny..." Kaori then said, "Here, let me have a look..." and got the sledgehammer from Tsubaki. Tsubaki said "Yeah, I know what you..." Before she could say any more, Kaori then hit Tsubaki with the sledgehammer. "OW! MY NECK!" Tsubaki shouted. Kaori slapped Tsubaki, and said "How do you feel now?" Tsubaki said "Good..." Kaori smacked Tsubaki once more. "Come on. What's the matter with you? Quit wasting time!"

In one of the offices of the bakery/orphanage, the Arimas and Miyazonos were briefed by Shigeru Arima about the state of their operation.

Takahiko Arima said... "And there's nothing else we can do about this business, brother?" Shigeru said "I am afraid not. This business is heading on an unsustainable path." Ryoko Miyazono chimed in with "Un-what?!" Shigeru repeated himself. "Un-sustainable." Takahiko then ordered "Please send for Kaori Miyazono, Ryouta Watari and Tsubaki Sawabe. I better give them the news first..." Ryoko Miyazono then said "Yes, Mr. Arima. I hope you're also going to tell them who's responsible for this." Takahiko said "Oh, let's not play the blame game, Mrs. Miyazono. I'll just tell them what they need to know."

Back outside, after quite a bit of time, Ryouta Watari got the chainsaw as he got off a golf cart he was driving. He honked the horn of the cart a few times. As he got off and was about to climb the ladder to the roof, he made some chainsaw-esque noises. He then tied the chainsaw to himself, but unbeknown to him, the way he attached the chainsaw as he made his way up, he would unintentionally cut the ladder in half.

As Watari made his way up the roof, he announced to Kaori "I got the saw, Kaori!" By now, Kaori and Tsubaki had successfully opened the shutters that housed the bell. Kaori told Watari as she went up to him, "Yeah, well you're too late..." As she spoke, Watari put the chainsaw close to Kaori's face. This scared her, and she yelped "AIIIIIEEEE!" out in fear as the chainsaw was aimed so close to her face. "What's the matter with you? You trying to hurt someone? You think you're so smart, wielding that thing like some sort of horror movie villain?! Why, you..." As she admonished Watari, she ran the chainsaw up Watari's head; he wailed as the chainsaw was moving on his head by Kaori. Luckily, Watari's shaggy hair broke the chainsaw.

Kaori looked on in shock at the damaged chainsaw. "What the...?" Kaori said in shock. This was followed by a "Nyaaa-aaah! Now look at what you did, Watari! You realize that breaking the chainsaw on one's head isn't covered in the warranty on this thing?!" Watari then said "It's not my fault. It was a chain reaction on the saw. See? Saw!" Watari then snapped his fingers. Kaori snapped and said "Oh, a punster, eh? Where's that damn hammer? Give it to me!"

Watari pleaded with Kaori, "No, please, Kaori! No! Don't do it!" As the three were doing work, or at least trying to do what passes for work, Ryoko Miyazono then blew the air horn again, and then signaled to the three "Excuse me, guys!" They were just too busy, so they didn't hear Ryoko. Watari then said to Kaori, "No, no, Kaori! I'm a victim of circumstance!" Kaori then said, with the sledgehammer in her hands, holding it like a baseball bat, "I'll circumstance you, you stupid little...!"

Kaori was about to hit Watari, but what happened instead the top of the sledgehammer landed one of the bell posts, flew off and landed in the bucket of water that was a few feet/meters from Ryoko. This incensed her. "Those morons..." Ryoko then tried to get their attention by climbing up the ladder, however, she was quick to notice that it had been (accidentally) sawed in half by Watari. "What the... the ladder? What happened to it?!" she said, as Watari and Kaori continued to mess around.

Meanwhile, Tsubaki, with a box full of donuts and a few cups of coffee right by her then told Kaori and Watari, "Hey! Quit horsing around, you two. You're disturbing my coffee break." Tsubaki was drinking some UCC canned coffee. The two then stopped playing around, and Watari excitedly said, "Oh, boy, donuts! Where's mine?" Kaori then said to Watari, as she picked up two donuts, "They're small. Why don't you have two?" "Okay..." replied Watari.

Kaori then shoved two of the donuts in Watari's ears, causing him to shudder and make chattering noises as she did this to him. After this was done, Kaori just giggled at Watari, saying to him after he removed the donuts from his ears "Look at you! You're an extra-terrestrial!" Watari then yelled at Kaori, "OH NOW, LOOK WHAT YOU DID, KAORI, YOU DIABOLICAL GIRL, YOU! YOU GOT DONUTS STUCK IN MY EARS!" Tsubaki then diverted their attention by saying "Hey, you guys, you're in luck! There's no need to bicker! They got a donut remover right here." Kaori asked Tsubaki "What the hell's a donut remover?"

Tsubaki smiled ear-to-ear and said, "It's one of these." Tsubaki then got out a tag that was on the bell; it actually said _DO NOT REMOVE_. "Doh-nut remove-uh." Tsubaki pointed to each part of the sign's word as she read it. Kaori, obviously being the smartest of the three, told Tsubaki "That is a _DO NOT REMOVE_ sign, Tsubaki, you idiot!" Tsubaki fired back with "Oh, what do _you_ know, Kaori? It's a typo!" Watari smiled and said "Heh, what are the odds of that?"

Just then, Ryoko called the three again, this time using a portable bullhorn. She turned it on, and said as she spoke into it "EXCUSE ME, KAORI, WATARI, TSUBAKI! MR. TAKAHIKO ARIMA WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU THREE!" Tsubaki said "Hang on, let me get it for you, Watari." Tsubaki then removed the _DO NOT REMOVE_ tag and the bell came off. As the bell was falling, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari made "Nyaa-aah!" and shuddering noises. As the bell came off the roof, it accidentally hit Ryoko Miyazono, causing her to drop her bullhorn and go down in a daze.

Just then, all three of them looked at Ryoko, who was just on the ground, dazed and confused. All three of them exclaimed in fear. "Wait a second... was that your mother, Kaori?" Tsubaki asked. Watari then said "I don't know, but the face rings a bell!" Kaori then said to Tsubaki: "Dammit, Tsubaki! Can't you freaking read? That sign said _DO NOT REMOVE_, ya dummy! You just had to knock my mom out in the process, didn't you? Remind me to gouge your eyeballs out later." Tsubaki then said to Ryoko, "Don't move a muscle, Mrs. Miyazono. We'll be right there!"

Kaori then instructed her two friends "Come on, guys, hurry up! Get going!" Tsubaki told Kaori "Be careful, now..." Kaori tried to get down, but since the ladder was cut in half, she accidentally took down Tsubaki with her. As they came down, they fell down and body slammed Ryoko Miyazono in the process. Ryoko moaned. Watari wailed, as he was holding the sawed-off ladder as stilts, "Hey, Kaori. Hey, Tsubaki, you guys! Help me out here!" Kaori then said "What's the matter with..." Watari wailed, as he was about to come down "Call 100!" (AUTHOR'S NOTE: That's the NTT operator phone number. He was confusing it with the 110 emergency number used in Japan.)

Kaori then said "Quick! Help me move my mom before Watari flattens her!" They did just that, but hey only aggravated the problem by hitting her head with a fire hydrant. Just then, Watari on the ladder stilts then fell down on Ryoko. "YEOWWWW!" Watari yelled as he came down. Kaori then instructed Tsubaki and Watari, "Watari, help out. Tsubaki, grab that bucket, splash some water on my mom!" Tsubaki then reached for the bucket of water, but the hammer part of the sledgehammer, hit Ryoko instead. Tsubaki then said "See, I told you there was too much iron in the water!"

Kaori then asked her dazed mother "Speak to me, mom. Say a few words!" The dazed Ryoko said "Is that your final answer? You've just won 20 million yen!" (AUTHOR'S NOTE: She's quoting the worldwide game show franchise Who Wants to be a Millionaire.) Tsubaki then said, "Well, my mom looks okay to me." Kaori then said, "Watari, Tsubaki. Let's go. I wonder what Kousei's father has to say to us..." The three then ventured to the front door of the business, to get some words from Takahiko Arima.


	7. Chapter 6 - Shutting Down-On A Mission

**CHAPTER 6: "WE'RE SHUTTING DOWN?!"/FRIENDS ON A MISSION**  
As Shigeru Arima climbed on top of one of the upper windows of the bakery/orphanage, he was putting up a big FOR SALE sign on top of the building. As Shigeru put up the sign, Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki all on the golf (with Watari driving the cart), had one of their taller tools protruding, and it wound up tipping over the ladder Shigeru was on, and that caused him to fall down and land on some of the workers of the business; they were mostly female. "WHOA, JEEZ! AAAAH!" Shigeru yelled as he came down. Some of the assistants to the Arimas and Miyazonos said as he came down on the group, "Shigeru, you okay?" "Shigeru! What happened?"

Kaori, upon seeing Shigeru, thinking that he was "being fresh" with the Bakery/Orphanage workers, told Watari as he was driving, "WATARI! STOP THE CART!" Watari did just that, and stopped the cart immediately. Kaori, Tsubaki then told her two friends, "Hey, look! Guys! Some wise guy is roughing up some of the assistants!" Watari said "How dare you!" Kaori then said, "Why, you...!" and all three of them ran towards Shigeru Arima. The three then started to brawl with him, pulling off all sorts of wrestling moves. Kaori said to Shigeru, "Picking on people of my gender, eh? This'll teach you to respect women!" Watari de-pantsed Shigeru. "How do you like that, pretty boy?" Tsubaki then said "Think it's okay to beat on innocent women? You've disrespected people of my gender!" Kaori then suplexed Shigeru.

In the background, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki Miyazono, Takahiko Arima and Hiroko Seto all had looks of shock as Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki were wrestling with Shigeru Arima; what they were doing to him was something you'd see out of the WWE, with Kaori even yelling at one point "RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!" Ryoko then asked her husband, Yoshiyuki, "Yoshiyuki, what are you going to do about these three?" Yoshiyuki then said "Ryoko, let _me_ handle this." Just then, he got out a lifeguard/referee whistle, and cleared his throat. Yoshiyuki then blew the whistle very loud and clear, and with that, Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki stopped fighting Shigeru.

Takahiko Arima said, "What the hell are you three doing?" Tsubaki then explained, "We caught this lounge lizard getting all handsy with the assistants!" Takahiko then told the three "This is no lounge lizard. He's here on official business!" Watari then said "Official business? Why didn't you say so?" All three of them put up portable privacy curtains, changed out of their work gear, and into their Sumiya Junior High uniforms. With a smile on his face, Watari said "I'm Ryota Watari. Pick me up. I'll clip your hedges!" Kaori was next, saying, "Kaori Miyazono at your service! I'll hedge your clippers!" Tsubaki finally had her turn, saying "Call me Tsubaki Sawabe! I'll fetch your slippers!" Kaori then said, "I'll scrub the stench right off them dentures!"

Shigeru Arima responded to all three, slapping them all at once, saying "You idiots! I'm not here to adopt!" Takahiko then informed the three, "This is my brother, Shigeru Arima. He's the chairman of Arima/Miyazono Industries, and is in charge of this establishment." Kaori then said, "Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Arima! I'm assuming you must be Kousei's uncle, am I right?" Yoshiyuki then told her daughter, "Yes, Kaori. You assumed right. Shigeru is Kousei's uncle." Takahiko then told the crowd of children and assistants, as he clapped, "Ladies, gentlemen, everyone please gather 'round. I have an announcement to make." Watari said, "Oh, are we getting pizza?" Takahiko said "Come on over, pull it in." Then came his announcement.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you all this, but due to the recent economic downturn and some unforeseen expenses, the bakery/orphanage will be forced to close down at the end of the month." Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari responded simultaneously with "WHAT THE HELL?! WE'RE SHUTTING DOWN?!", with the others in the crowd gasping in shock. One of the female assistant workers asked "But what's going to happen to the children? All these baked goods? Kousei? And us?" Shigeru Arima said "Well, all of you workers will have to find some new jobs, sadly, all the children will be sent to foster homes, and the baked goods will go to a homeless charity. As for Kousei, given his health situation, he may need to be sent to an assisted care home."

Watari said, "Oh, boy, Fosters. That's Australian for beer!" Kaori asked him "Would you like that in a bottle or a mug?" Watari said, "I'll take it in a mug." Kaori then said, "You got it." and slapped Watari. One of the children said, a girl, said, "Foster home? Forget it! I'm NOT going to end up like Tatsunori's brother, Kaito! If someone wants to adopt me, I'll listen. But I'm not going anywhere where they're getting paid to love me." Watari then said "Cheer up, Minako. There's talk of pizza." Hiroko Seto asked Shigeru "Wait a minute, Shigeru. There's gotta be something we can do to save this business."

Tsubaki asked him, "Yeah, what's it going to take to save this place?" Shigeru then said, "A lot of this." and motioned his fingers. Tsubaki continued with "Oh. Well, that's doable. How many boogers are we talking about?" Shigeru then said, "Not boogers, yen, you moron! 35 million of them, to be exact." Kaori exclaimed, "Holy crap, that's a lot of money….." Kousei, holding a soda can in his hand, and his speech and movements somewhat stilted, said "You can't… let them close… us down, dad, uncle. You can't…! This is… our home!"

Kaori then asked Shigeru, "Hold on there, skin-tags. When do you need that money by?" Shigeru said "30 days. Today is March 31, so April 30." Kaori told both Watari and Tsubaki, "Lightbulb!" realizing that this would be a good mission for her and her friends to pursue, said "Well, consider it done! Tsubaki, Watari, we can do this!" Watari then said, "That's right. Thirty days from now, we'll have enough cash to rent ten of these kid factories and baked goods places!"

Takahiko Arima then asked him, "Oh, yeah, how are you going to do that, you guys?" Kaori told him "Why, by doing whatever it takes!" Tsubaki said "We'll climb mountains!" Kaori added "We'll forge rivers!" Watari then added "We'll forge checks!" Kaori then instructed her two friends "Come on, let's get packin'. Attention!" Watari and Tsubaki accidentally bopped Kaori. Kaori said, "About face!" Tsubaki and Watari then spun around. "Company, march!" All three of them marched, and the kids celebrated.

Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki then gathered with the kids in the bakery/orphanage. The kids were cheering, saying their goodbyes and wishing them the best of luck with their mission. Kaori momentarily had a word with her two friends. "Alright, guys, we've got 30 days to save my business, and save Kousei. Let's do this, friends….. all for one, and one for all!" Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki got out their fists. "ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL!"

One of the assistants, a male, told Takahiko, "I'm concerned. Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari are probably going to be eaten alive out there. They don't even know anyone their own age. All they know is us, baked goods, Kousei Arima and kids." Kousei then told his father "I have faith… in those three… they've…. never steered…. me wrong." Hiroko Seto then said "She's right, Mr. Arima. You know how long I've waited for this day. But now that it's here, I don't know." Takahiko then said to Hiroko, Kousei and the male assistant, "Well, what choice do we have? They either leave today or next month. Like Moses in the desert, I believe the Lord will guide them because they're pure of heart." Ryoko then interjected "And dim of wit."

Takahiko then went up to Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari. "Guys. Good luck to you. Here's a little money to get you through your first few days." It was 20,000 yen. Kousei then told the three, with his weak voice, "Good luck, guys…." Kaori then went up to Kousei. She smiled at him. "Kousei….. you have my full support. We will do our very best to save you and my parents business. Hang in there, Kousei…." and kissed Kousei on the cheek. Kousei smiled. Tsubaki said, "Don't worry, Kousei, you can tell your friends we're going to be back in a flash with the cash!"

Kaori went back to her two friends and said, "Yeah!" Takahiko said "Alright, children, let's say goodbye." Kaori sung "Goodbye….." Tsubaki then sang "Goodbye….." then Watari sang "Goodbye….." This all culminated in all of them singing "GOODBYE!" Hiroko then started singing the opening chorus to Journey's Don't Stop Believing. "Just a small town girl/living in a lonely world/she took the midnight train/going anywhere….." A male and female assistant joined in on the singing as backup singers until Ryoko stopped them. Ryoko barked "Shut up! This ain't a revival, it's a bakery and an orphanage!"

Kaori then looked at the time on her mobile phone. "She's right. Time's a-wasting. Let's saddle up, everyone!" Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki got on their bicycle built for three. Kaori was in the front, Tsubaki was in the middle, and Watari occupied the back seat. Kaori started with "Guys, once again, all for one, and one for all!" They didn't put their fists together this time, but all three of them said "ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL!" Kaori then did a final check. "Seatbelt, check." "Check!" repeated Tsubaki and Watari. Kaori then said, "Ring those bells, guys!" All three of them rang their bells. The final thing they checked on was the tow rope. Tsubaki said "Tow rope?" Kaori then got out the rope. "Check!" Kaori said.

She then got out the tow rope and threw it on the back of a large truck. Just then, as the rope was running out, Kaori noticed something was amiss. "Hey, bunion head, you forgot to tie us off to the handlebars!" Watari told her "I couldn't reach it, so I tied us to the back tire!" Kaori then said, "Oh, good….." The rope finally ran out, and instead of riding smoothly down the road, the three were instead dragged by the truck. All three of them exclaimed in fear, saying various things along the road like "DAMMIT, WATARI, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" "I WASN'T SURE HOW TO TIE IT!" The Arimas and Miyazonos looked on in disgust, but Kousei was laughing at the three. "Heh, heh….. those three…." He said. Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari were ready for their mission of saving the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage.


	8. Chapter 7 - No Job is Too Small!

**CHAPTER 7: "NO JOB IS TOO SMALL!"  
**

In another part of Tokyo, there was an inn. In one of the rooms was a married couple, having a discussion over some matters. The male said, "Do we really have to knock him off?" The woman replied with "What?" The male continued with "Why can't you just divorce him?" The wife said "You know why. His father made me sign a prenup." The husband then replied with "So what? We have each other. We don't need your husband's money." The wife said, "Maybe we don't need it. But I want it. Look, if you're too much of a wuss, just tell me..." Then the husband said "Oh no, no, no, no, I told you. I'm all in. I want your hubby gone just as badly as you do. I'm just new at this, that's all." The husband continued with "Okay. So how are we going to do it?"

Just then, the two noticed sounds of drumming and tooting outside the inn. It was Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari. The husband demanded to know, "What is that racket?" From ground level, the three were making the noises advertising themselves for hire. Tsubaki, wearing a sandwich board saying _WILL WORK FOR 35 MILLION YEN (MEALS INCLUDED)_, said "35 million yen! First taker gets a three-man working machine! It's all spelled out in this here contract, folks!" Kaori, holding a vuvuzela, said "That's right, you guys! No job is too small! We'll press your pants, we'll shine your shoes!" Watari, banging on a drum, added, "We'll raid your fridge and drink your booze!"

Kaori then slapped Watari, telling him "Dammit, Watari! What part of 'Don't give away the fine print' do you NOT understand?!" Tsubaki then asked Kaori, "Hey, Kaori, what's the big deal?" Kaori then slapped Tsubaki and told her "Shaddup! Now smarten up, you two, or have you forgotten there's my family, Kousei, his family and a bunch of kids counting on us? We have..." Kaori then checked her phone to see how many days they had to accomplish their mission. "...28 days to raise the 35 million yen."

Just then, Tsubaki came across a three-person delinquent gang. Tsubaki said to one of them, who was wearing his pants too low, "Hey, bub, your trousers are falling down. Let me help you." Tsubaki then pulled the boy's pants up. The guy said, "Hey, girl, you trying to get yourself capped?" Tsubaki then said "Oh, no thanks. I don't wear hats. Why would I with a head of hair like this?" The first delinquent said, "Can you believe this girl?" The third delinquent said "Crazy, man." Tsubaki then told the three "See you later, fellas."

As the three were pitching themselves, the married couple, overlooking them inside the inn, had an idea. The wife said, "I think we just found the answer to our prayers." Meanwhile, back on ground level, Kaori told Tsubaki and Watari, "You guys, we're getting nowhere fast. Now spread out and go drum up some business." Kaori then instructed Watari, "Go on!" Watari said to Kaori, "I'll go when I'm ready." Kaori asked him, "Are you ready?" Watari then said to her, "Sure, I'm ready." Watari then walked away and Kaori told him, "Go on!" Tsubaki continued her pitch. "35 million yen! We prefer it in 10,000-yen bills, folks." Just then, Tsubaki came across several bow-and-arrow sets.

Tsubaki then asked Kaori, "Kaori... now what would these bows and arrows be doing around here?" Kaori told Tsubaki, "Beats the hell outta me." Tsubaki picked up one of them and got out an arrow to shoot at. Tsubaki then shot out the arrow. She looked momentarily to see where the arrow was going. She said, "Wow. In the wrong hands, this thing could be dangerous without proper safety techniques." Kaori said "No bull, Sherlock." Tsubaki then reconvened with both Kaori and Watari. Tsubaki told the two, "Guys, we've been at this for a couple days now and all I got is a hole in my shoe."

Tsubaki then pointed to the hole in her shoe that was about the size of a U.S. quarter (25 cent piece). Kaori then said "Oh, my. You better get new shoes, Tsubaki. The kid's right. There's gotta be a way to make a living! Come on, think, guys!" Some think music played. The three tried to drum up ideas on how to make big money in 30 days. Nothing was coming to them. Just then, Watari did his "woob-woob" routine and started to make break-dancing like moves on the pavement. Tsubaki told Kaori, "Look, Watari's onto something!" Kaori asked Watari "Spit it out, tiger!" Watari got back up. "I can't! It's stuck. Jar it loose, Kaori!" Kaori bonked on Watari's head.

Watari then told the two "What about a job where you could sleep all day, meet beautiful babes at night, and make millions for doing absolutely nothing!" Kaori then said to Watari "Oh, boy! That's genius. So, what's the job?" Watari told the two "That is the job!" Kaori then asked him "And who's gonna pay you?" to which Watari replied with "The boss." Tsubaki beamed with "You know, it's just crazy enough to work." Kaori then got upset. "Why, you!" Kaori poked Watari on his eyes. "And you!" Tsubaki blocks her with the sign, but Kaori slapped her. "Come on in here!" Kaori then bumped Tsubaki and Watari's heads together. Just then, the couple from the inn came by to see the three. Watari told his friends, "Hey, guys, I think we got a customer!"

The wife of the couple came out of a BMW. Tsubaki remarked "Whoa. Would you look at those getaway sticks..." Watari made some dog-barking noises. Kaori then instructed the two, "Spread out, guys! I'll do the talking here." She then stood with firmly with her arms crossed, as if she were in a position of authority. Kaori said to the woman "I'm the head of this here operation. What can we do for you?" The woman said to Kaori, "I'll pay you 35 million yen for a job that won't take you more than 10 minutes." Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki gave off looks of surprise to each other upon realizing that the woman was offering them that much money to do something for her. Watari said, "We'll take it. Who do we have to murder?"

All three of them laughed together. The woman said, "My husband." All three of them then exclaimed fearfully. Kaori then said, "Sorry, lady. You came to the wrong place. We're working stiffs, not common crooks!" The woman said, "But you don't understand. You will be doing him a great service." Tsubaki then asked, "Says who?" The husband of the couple said, "Says me." Kaori then asked, "Wait a minute, who are you?" The man replied with "I'm her husband." Just then, Tsubaki then asked the man "Wait a minute. You mean to tell me she's planning your funeral and you're okay with it?" The man continued with "Well, I know it sounds a bit peculiar." Watari then said "No, no, no. That doesn't sound peculiar. This sounds peculiar." Watari then shook his head and made some weird grinding noises.

The woman then briefed the three on the man's "situation". "My husband's suffering from an incurable disease that eventually will kill him." The man then added "Unfortunately, it could take a year, possibly more. Pain increasing daily before I lapse into an irreversible coma." Watari smiled with "I had that. Only it was just in my feet. Yeah. It's called coma-toes." Tsubaki smirked, saying "Good one, Watari." Kaori said, "Oh, coma-toes, huh?" Watari replied with "Yeah." With that, Kaori then stomped on Watari's left foot. "Are they awake now?"

The man then continued on with "You guys." Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki and the gang looked behind. "You guys." They turned their attention back at the man "I'm sure you can understand why I prefer to leave this world on my own terms rather than spend the rest of my life a vegetable." Kaori then said, with a bit of doubt in her voice, "I don't know... this sounds a bit fishy and illegal." Tsubaki then said "Wait a minute, legs. Did you say 35 million yen?" The woman said to the three "Yes, I did." Tsubaki let out a little whistle, then said "My, That's a good day's pay." Something then dawned on Watari. "Hey, wait a minute, fellas. That's exactly the amount of money we're looking for!"

Kaori, now having been won over by the promise of that sum of money by the couple then said "You're right. This must be fate, Time Bomb! You can count us in!" The man then told the three "That's swell. Thank you." As they said this, the three friends shook the man's hand, but Tsubaki's wound up smacking Kaori's face with her hands. "YOW-OW-WOW-OW-WOW!" she yelped. The man then told them, "Now here's what we were thinking."

All three of them said "Yes?" "I'd like to sneak into our bedroom in the middle of the night and smother me while I'm sleeping." "Yes, yes!" all three of them said. "But do not turn on the lights." the man instructed them. All three of the friends said, "No, no, no!" Kaori then questioned the man. "Hold up. Why don't you want the lights on?" The man continued on with "Well, I want it to be a surprise." Kaori then said "Oh, we get it. You don't want to see it coming, eh?" The man said "Exactly." Just then, Tsubaki saw a bus on the street coming towards their direction. She said "Hey, look. It's that guy from that thing all the kids are talking about!"

Watari then accidently bumped into the man with full force, as he yelled "WHOOOOAAA!" he then got run over by the bus, causing him to be tossed at least 20 feet/6 meters in the air. The woman looked on in horror. He then got run over by a street cleaner, saying "HELP ME!", then got hit by a girl jumping on her pogo stick, and, finally, took an arrow on the leg. After all that, He went unconscious on the crosswalk. Tsubaki, Watari and Kaori, all cheered with approval. "That settles that!"

The three then said "Success!" a few times, commending each other on what they thought was a job well done. The woman was rather upset with the three. She screamed "What did you do?! That was not the plan!" Kaori then told the woman, "What're you yaking about? He just said he didn't want to see it coming!" Tsubaki then told the woman "Hey, hey. You look like you could use a grief massage. Let it go. Let it go. Try to live in the now." He then rubbed the woman's back. "GET OFF ME!" she yelled at Tsubaki. She then said to the woman as she walked away "Too soon?"

The woman then got into her BMW and drove off in a huff. The woman then drove back to a mansion, unaware that the gang latched onto the car from behind via three skateboards. The three of them then sniffed. "Hey, you smell garbage burning?" Kaori noticed. It turned out the skateboard wheels had given off a burning polyurethane smell, and some smoke was coming out of them. "Oh, jeez, the skateboards!" Kaori yelled out. The woman then noticed the three trying to get rid of the burning smell from their skateboards. She gasped upon seeing them again.

"What the hell are you three doing here?" the woman demanded to know. Kaori then told her "Hey, we want the dough-re-mi you owe us, lady." Watari then said "Yes, 35 million yen!" Tsubaki added "Plus meals!" A butler then told the lady "May I have a moment, ma'am?" The woman said, "Excuse me, you guys." She went into the mansion. Kaori told both Watari and Tsubaki, "Mind your P's and Q's." Watari said "Don't forget to dot the I's!" "Certainly!" Kaori said. She then poked Watari in the eyes and bonked Tsubaki on her head.

Meanwhile, inside the mansion, the butler informed the woman, "I'm afraid I have unfortunate news. I've just received word that Mr. Kaneyama was struck by a bus." The woman asked the butler "Oh no. So, Akira Kaneyama is dead?" The butler then replied with "No." The woman asked "No? Are you sure?" The butler said "Oh, yes. He's still alive, but he's in bad shape. Your husband is in contact with Ishikawajima Memorial Hospital. He said he'd call with any news." The woman said, "Thank you, Matsuura." Just then, as butler Matsuura left, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari then came up to the woman. Tsubaki demanded "Come on, blondie. Pay up. A deal's a deal!" The woman slaps the three Nerima Stooges across their faces. "Our deal was that you would get paid when my husband died. And on that count, you have all failed miserably!" Kaori asked "Wait, what? You mean he's still kicking?" The woman then angrily told the three "That's right, you idiots! You have ruined my life, now get the hell out of here!"

Just then, all three got slapped again, knocked over the wall and landed onto the outside lawn of the mansion. All three of them looked dazed. Tsubaki was the first to recover. said "Where am I? Kaori? You okay?" Kaori, who was also dazed, said "I'm sorry, but the number you've dialed for Kaori Miyazono is not in service..." Tsubaki then poked Kaori's navel. She came back to her senses. "Oh, sorry, Tsubaki. Thanks... I needed that." Watari then said "Is your child in dire jeopardy? Find out at 11..." Kaori then smacked Watari's nose. "Oh, god... oh, jeez... man, my ass is in pain..." All three of them had now fully recovered. Kaori then said "Boy, what a hothead!" Tsubaki then added "That is one mean bitch!"

Something then dawned on Kaori. "Lightbulb! Wait a second, with her hubby laid out in the hospital nursing them tire tracks, it'll be easy pickings to slide a pillow over the poor schlump's face and give him the surprise send-off he wanted." Tsubaki said to Kaori, "Good thinking. We'll be doing the guy a favor and making enough money to save the orphanage. It's like killing two birds with one pillow!" Kaori smiled and said, "It's colossal!" Tsubaki added "It's stupendous!" Watari then added "It's even mediocre!" Kaori then hit Watari's nose. She then told Watari "Say 'Aah'!" Watari then said "Aah!" Kaori grabbed Watari by his mouth, then Tsubaki by her nose. Kaori then told her two friends "C'mon, let's go! To the Ishikawajima Memorial Hospital! Time's a-waist'in!" All three of them then ventured into the hospital, looking for Akira Kaneyama.


	9. Chapter 8 - Finding Akira Kaneyama

**CHAPTER 8: FINDING AKIRA KANEYAMA**

CONTENT WARNING: Some toliet humor and some cartoonish humor (with TNT, almost like Looney Tunes) is in this chapter. This sense of humor may not be shared by everyone. If this weirds you out, well, please don't read this chapter.

As Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki arrived at Ishikawajima Memorial Hospital, their first order of business was to find Akira Kaneyama. They sauntered towards the receptionists' desk. A lady at the desk put up a sign on the desk saying VISITING HOURS ARE OVER. Kaori, trying to be as stealthy as possible about their objectives, whispered to both Watari and Tsubaki "Okay, you lumps. Just keep your lips zippered. I'll sweet-talk our way in, guys." Kaori approached the desk lady and asked, "Hey, bulldog, how's about being a sport and letting us visit an old pal? What do you say?" The desk lady pointed to the sign on her desk. "Can't you read? Visiting hours are over." Watari then asked, "Even for his family?" The desk lady answered with "Are you family?" Watari then replied "Certainly. His mother and my mother were both mothers." The desk lady then said "You heard me, no more visitors."

Kaori whispered "Damn... come on, guys." The three then walked away from the desk, and then saw three nurses head into the staff lounge. Just then, an idea sprang to Kaori. "Lightbulb... come on, guys, let's head into the there." Kaori pointed to the staff lounge, and all three of them ventured into the room. She then made sure nobody was looking, so as to not arouse suspicion of their objectives. Lots of screams were heard, and at one point, Tsubaki opened the door of the staff lounge, but Kaori dragged him back in.

All three of them took the clothes of the three nurses and were now disguised as them. Watari was disguised as a female nurse, and Tsubaki, in turn was now cosplaying a male nurse. Kaori was dressed as one, but wore glasses, which reminded of how she looked a few years earlier. Tsubaki smiled at Kaori. "My, you have quite the professional look." Kaori smiled at Tsubaki. "Heh, thanks... I haven't worn glasses in a few years." She then turned her attention to the disguised-as-a-female Watari. "Watari, you fool, is that the best you can do? You're scaring the customers." Watari, speaking in a somewhat more feminine tone than his normal voice, told Kaori "I'm sorry. I didn't bring my false eyelashes."

Kaori then took part of Tsubaki's eyebrows. Tsubaki then said to Kaori, "Hey! What's the big idea?" Kaori fired back and said, "Mind your business." Kaori then took Tsubaki's eyebrows and applied it to Watari's eyelashes. Watari asked Kaori "Kaori, what are you..." Kaori then said, "Hold still." and put the eyelashes on Watari. "There you go. There. That completes the look." She then instructed Watari, "Now go on over to that information desk and find out where the hubby's room is. Hurry." Watari did as told. Tsubaki then was busy talking in a stethoscope. She pretended she was on the game show Jeopardy!. Tsubaki said into it, "Who are the Hamilton Tiger-Cats?" Kaori then said to Tsubaki "Hey, let me see that." Kaori took a reflex hammer to the stethoscope and banged on it. It made an exploding noise. Tsubaki said "OW! JEEZ, KAORI!"

Nurse Watari then asked another receptionist, this one a male, "Excuse me, dreamsicle. That patient who got hit by a bus, what room is he in?" The man answered "That would be 386." Nurse Watari said with a wink "Okay. Thank you." The man then took notice of Nurse Watari's feminine looks. "Say. I haven't noticed you around here before. I like curvy women." Nurse Watari smiled and said, "I bet you say to all the gals." The man asked Nurse Watari "What do you say, me and you, go out Saturday night, grab some falafels and couple of pops. Huh?" Nurse Watari then said, "Why wait when you can have a pop right now?" and slapped the man, then walked away. Doctor Kaori then asked Nurse Watari, "How'd you make out?" Watari then said "I don't know. I guess we'll find out Saturday night." Doctor Kaori then said "I mean with the..."

Before Kaori could complete her sentence, the mean desk lady found the three. Tsubaki said, in a somewhat panicked voice "LOOK!" All three of them exclaimed in fear as the desk lady approached them. As they saw her, the three attempted to run for it. The three of them found themselves in another room and locked it. A nurse was waiting for the three. The nurse asked "Doctor? Excuse me. May I have a word with these ladies? Doctor?" Kaori then bonked Tsubaki on the head. Tsubaki then said, "Oh!" and then added, in a more masculine and deeper tone of voice for her "Yes. Proceed." The nurse said to the three "Come on, girls. Let's get these diapers changed A-S-A-P."

They found themselves in a nursery, in a room full of babies. Nurse Tsubaki looked over a curtain in the room and informed her friends "That stupid bitch is still out there!" Doctor Kaori then told the two "Come on, you two! Let's blend in until the smoke clears!" Nurse Watari said "But we don't know anything about babies." Doctor Kaori then said "What's there to know? If you check under the hood and if there's a leak, you change the filter! Come on, get busy!" Watari turned his gaze over a set of triplets. "Ah, triplicates." He said, trying to play with them. "Cootchie cootchie coo. Cootchie cootchie coo."

One of the triplets bit his index finger, however, and Nurse Watari tried to remove the dirty diaper off him. "You must be French. That's a lot of wee-wee." He then disposed of the dirty diaper. "Alright, raise your hand. Who wants to go first?" He then asked them. Nurse Watari then got peed on by one of the babies. "Fine. You bat lead-off!" he said and put a fresh diaper on one of the babies. "Here you go. You like that? We'll fix you up." Just then, two babies peed on Nurse Watari.

He then tried to wipe himself off of all of that. "Double crossers, eh? Oh." he then said. Nurse Watari then retrieved a metal tray, and asked, "Hiya, boys. Yeah. Now who do we got?" He deflected the babies' pee with a metal tray, only for it to hit Doctor Kaori. Upon realizing this, Nurse Watari looked on horror at Doctor Kaori. Needless to say, she was rather upset. Nurse Watari pleaded with Doctor Kaori, "No, Moe! Take it easy! Let's talk this out! Come on!" As Doctor Kaori held one of the babies, he peed on Nurse Watari. Doctor Kaori said "Yeah, yeah. How do you like them apples?" Nurse Watari then countered with "Oh, a pea-shooter, eh? Yeah, I'll fix you!" Doctor Kaori pleaded to Watari "Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" Nurse Watari then got another baby, and he peed on Kaori. Nurse Tsubaki, noticing Kaori and Watari playing dueling babies, said to the two "Hey, you guys! Where's your hypocritical oath?"

Nurse Kaori said with a mischievous tone of voice, "Here you go!" Nurse Watari and Doctor Kaori got out their babies and they peed on Nurse Tsubaki. She tried to deflect all of what both babies that Nurse Watari and Doctor Kaori were aiming at Nurse Tsubaki. She was incensed. "That's it, you two! THIS MEANS WAR!" All three of then engaged in a pee fight. It was looking like a shootout at the O.K. Corral. Tsubaki tried her best to evade the fountain-like scene. Moments later, Kaori, holding a baby, told Tsubaki, who was holding another one, "Freeze. Put him down now. Real slow. Don't do anything stupid. This one's got a hair trigger." Nurse Tsubaki did as told. "Now slide him over." Again, Nurse Tsubaki did as instructed.

Doctor Kaori then asked, "Any last words?" Nurse Watari used a baby to get back at Doctor Kaori. Nurse Tsubaki was about to slingshot some diapers. One of the real nurses asked as she stepped into the room, "What the hell is going on here?" Nurse Tsubaki then shot diapers hit her and the gang, exclaiming in horror, ran off in a hurry, with Nurse Watari letting out his "Woob-woob-woob" sound. Again, largely to be stealthy about their mission, they hid under a dinner table. Doctor Kaori then whispered to her two friends, "There's no way they can catch us here."

The table took to room 386, where Akira Kaneyama was held. Tsubaki, upon finding room 386 told the two, "This is it, room 386. This is where Akira Kaneyama is." By now, all three of them were back in their casual clothing; Tsubaki in a pair of blue jeans and a teal T-shirt, Watari in a Famicom controller T-shirt with a track jacket and blue jeans, and Kaori in her Saskatchewan Roughriders polo shirt and black jeans (and was without her glasses again); all of them also wore Nike shoes. All three of them went into room 386 and found a man in a full-body cast.

It was Akira Kaneyama. Or, at least it was supposed to be him. Kaori said, "I believe that's Kaneyama..." She then turned her attention to Tsubaki. "Captain Tsubaki, turn on the tubes so nobody hears us!" Kaori then instructed Watari, "Captain Watari, start smothering him while I wedge that door shut." She then said to man in the full-body cast, "Alright, bed-sores, nap's over. Time to get you some exercise." Kaori then picked him up and told him as she took him to one of the doors, "Here we go. There we are. All right. There we go. Yeah. Okay." Once she got to the door, she told the man, "Now don't you go anywhere, okay? Okay."

Kaori then went back to Watari, who was with another man in full-body cast; this man was Akira Kaneyama, unlike the other man that Kaori had picked up. Watari was peeling and cutting onions over Akira. "I thought I told you to smother him!" Watari then said to Kaori, "I am. I'm smothering him with onions." Kaori groaned, and Tsubaki, from a distance, snickered a little. "Oh, good thinking, Emeril. Yeah. Let me see that!" Kaori took the peeler and shaved a little bit of Watari's hair with it. "OW-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-OW!" Watari yelped. He said as he stopped the yelping, "Hey, look. A kitty cat." Watari was watching a news report on the TV. Kaori stopped and turned her attention to the TV. It showed a male reporter at the Ueno Zoo, with protesters holding signs in regard to a lion at the zoo.

The reporter said on the screen "Well, it's been a bad week for Kaede the Lion. His nasty disposition has prompted Ueno Zoo officials to put the proud cat on a short leash inside his pen. Zoo employees were refusing to clean the ornery beast's cage after several recent close calls." As Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki watched the news report on the TV, Akira shuddered as he watched the news report and slipped inside the body cast. Tsubaki turned her attention to Akira, and informed her friends, "Uh oh. He's gone!" Kaori then said "No, he ain't. He's turtling! We're going to need to blast. Mr. Shaggy Hair Boy, you got any dynamite?" Watari exposed his jacket, revealing sticks of TNT. "Hey, I always come prepared, you girls!"

Kaori then took one of the sticks of TNT, with Tsubaki lighting the fuse. Kaori said, as she was about to put the stick inside head opening of the body cast "This is going to work like a charm, you two... fire in the neck hole! Take cover!" As they took cover, Akira threw the dynamite at the three, standing behind a curtain. All three of them exclaimed fearfully as the stick of dynamite landed on them and Tsubaki instructed Kaori "Hurry up, Kaori! Put the dynamite back in!" Kaori did just that, running back to Akira's body cast and re-inserting the dynamite back in the face opening of the body cast. Moments later, the TNT exploded inside the body cast. All three of them took their heads past the curtain to look at Akira. Akira then commanded, "Nurse! Nurse! Nurse, help!"

Kaori then told Akira, "Hey, hey, just relax, pal. We'll have a toe tag on you in no time!" Kaori then smothered Akira's face with a pillow. Akira said in a muffled voice, "No, no! Wait! Wait!" Kaori then asked, "What is it?" Kaori then put the pillow away and Akira told her, "You don't need to kill me anymore. I'm cured!" Kaori asked Akira, "Cured? What are you yappin' about, plaster boy?" Akira told Kaori and her friends, "The bus. They say it knocked the disease right out of me. The doctors couldn't believe it. They say it's a miracle!" Tsubaki sighed, then said "A miracle! Just our luck!"

Just then, two policemen, one a tall slim man, the other shorter and more rotund, were about to head into room 386, with the desk lady accompanying them. The taller cop said "I can't believe my game of _Persona 5_ got interrupted by this call about three morons here! I was so close to meeting Futaba! Who are they again?" The shorter policeman said "Well, officer Kurosawa, one is a girl with long blond hair, the other is a girl with short brown hair, and their third friend is a boy with short hair." Officer Kurosawa said "I see. So, Miss Sakata, these three people have been causing havoc here, huh?" Miss Sakata, the receptionist told the two officers, "You are correct, officers Kurosawa and Sonoda." As the three approached the room, the door was rattling. Tsubaki alerted her friends, "Everyone, hide!" The door opened and Miss Sakata, along with officers Kurosawa and Sonoda, arrived in the room. "I'm telling you, those bums are in here. This is the room they were looking for."

Tsubaki pretended to be a patient (with Kaori and Watari also part of the disguise), but the Miss Sakata was not fooled; she saw through the disguise. Tsubaki was reading a Japanese sports magazine. "Hmm... I see that the Toronto Argonauts got a new coach... and the CFL will have more games aired live in Japan, too..." she said as she read through the magazine. Miss Sakata then uncovered the sheet, with Kaori's legs, lying down on two chairs, serving as the disguise, and Tsubaki holding crutches sideways. Both of them exclaimed fearfully, with Kaori saying, "Let's beat feet!", then both of them ran.

Watari, who was in another part of the room, hurled a cart in the direction of officers Kurosawa and Sonoda, and also ran with his two friends. Soon, Watari, Kaori and Tsubaki were being chased by Miss Sakata, the receptionist and officers Kurosawa (the taller one) and Sonoda (the shorter one). "AFTER THEM!" Miss Sakata yelled as the chase began. The three friends ran, and as Watari did his "WOOB-WOOB-WOOB!" thing, he put a rectangular trashcan as a barricade to the officers; however, officer Kurosawa successfully jumped over it. "Those SOBs, I can't believe I can't finish _Persona 5_ because of them!" Inside a laundry room, one of the workers said "Break time, ladies!" as she checked her watch. "Couldn't have come fast enough..." said another worker."

Just then, as the room emptied, Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki found themselves inside the laundry room. Kaori then told the three as they huddled up, "Huddle! Boxcar 45 on three. Break! One, two, three!" Tsubaki then rolled a laundry cart near the door, and officer Kurosawa landed on it and slid; he hit his head on an ironing table that Watari had put up. Kurosawa then fell on the floor unconscious. Tsubaki told the two "He don't look so good." Kaori then asked "Check his pulse!" Tsubaki then felt officer Kurosawa's wrist. "I got nothing, Kaori." Watari then asked "You mean, he's..." Kaori then said "Not on my watch. Quick, get me the paddles!"

Watari then handed Kaori two steam irons, using them as a defibrillator. Tsubaki then opened up officer Kurosawa's shirt, exposing his bare chest. "CLEAR!" Kaori yelled, as she took the irons to officer Kurosawa's chest, screaming from the pain from the two steam irons. All four of them then screamed, with Kurosawa screaming "IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" Watari then screamed, "IT'S A ZOMBIE! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Soon, Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki then ran off, trying to evade being captured by the two officers and Miss Sakata, the receptionist.


	10. Chapter 9 - Encounter-Farming-Star

**CHAPTER 9: A CHANCE ENCOUNTER/"A FARMING-WE-WILL-GO!"/A STAR IS BORN  
**

Miss Sakata, upon noticing Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari, yelled "There they are! AFTER THEM!" The three friends ran frantically up to the top floor of Ishikawajima Memorial Hospital, with Sakata and officers Kurosawa and Sonoda hot on their tails. As Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari made their way to the top of the building, they circled around a pole. Kaori looked downward on the ledge of the roof. They were situated about 80 feet/24 meters above street level. Kaori said "Dear god, we are so high up... uh... you guys, it's too high!" Kaori then collided into Watari and Tsubaki. As they bumped her, Kaori was pushed over the rooftop. "HELP ME, YOU GUYS!" she yelled, but Watari and Tsubaki caught her before she could fall.

"WHY, YOU LAMEBRAINS!" she then shouted at the two for making her nearly fall over, to which she then slapped her two friends. Just then, Tsubaki found a fire hose. An idea came to her. "Hey, look, a fire hose! We can lower ourselves down to the ground!" Kaori then said, "The kid's right, it's foolproof! Come on! Let's get down!" The three Nerima Stooges then unwound the fire hose and jumped down to the ground below, with Kaori yelling "LEAP OF FAITH!" then all three screamed as they came down.

However, the hose came off its reel; but what broke their fall was an awning. They still dropped to the ground, landing on a random teen boy. All four were quite dazed, but Tsubaki and Watari recovered quickly. Kaori, on the other hand, had the reel of the hose come down on her head, and moved around like she was confused. She also said in a daze after getting hit, "At the tone, the time will be 2pm precisely..."

Tsubaki then got out a cup of water, and splashed it on Kaori, with Tsubaki saying "Snap out of it, Kaori!" Kaori came to her senses again. She said "Thanks, Tsubaki, I needed that..." and told the random boy, "Ow! Why don't you watch where you're going, bud?" The boy said, "I'm sorry, 100 percent my fault. Sometimes I just get lost in my own head and I – Kaori? Tsubaki? Watari? Is that you?" Kaori then answered, "Depends who's asking." The boy said, "It's me, Masao Kishida."

Kaori replied with "Who?" Masao then said "Masao, from the bakery/orphanage, Masao. You remember, Kaori, I went home with the Kishidas." Kaori then said "What're you trying to pull, buddy? The Masao we knew was this tall and he only had one shoe." Tsubaki added "Yeah, and he didn't sound like you." Masao then said "Here- here, look, I got a snapshot of me and the Kishidas leaving the orphanage."

He then presented a photo of Masao being adopted by his new parents and Kaori being taken back by Hiroko and Kousei's family. Tsubaki said "Hey, it is you, Masao!" Kaori added "It all ties together now!" Tsubaki asked "I was wondering, how are the Kishidas doing? They seem like good eggs." Masao then said "Yeah, well Dad's doing great, I work with him at the law firm downtown; but Mother, she passed on several years ago, boating accident." Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari said simultaneously "Oh, sure, yeah."

Masao then asked "So, you three on Facebook? I'll poke you." However, the Stooges recoiled at the mention of "poke", being unaware that it's a different kind of "poke". He then said, "Better yet, I'll tweet you." Watari then said "Oh, tweet us to dinner? Soitanly!" Masao then asked " Hey, wait a minute, where are you guys living?" Kaori said, "You know the Sheraton in Minato district?" Masao said "Yeah." Watari then added "Yeah, we're camped out in the dumpster out back." Tsubaki then said, "But not the dirty, beat-up, green one, it's the shiny blue one right next to it."

Masao then pitched to the three "Oh. You know, I've got an idea. Why don't you guys come crash at my place? Just until you get your feet back on the ground." Tsubaki said "Oh, boy! That sounds terrific." Watari nodded in agreement. However, Kaori put cold water on the idea, saying "We're not going anywhere." Tsubaki then asked, "What the hell are you talking about, Kaori?" Kaori replied "Thanks, Masao, but we're going to stay put. We got too many irons in the fire right now."

Masao said "Of course you do. Hey, look, I got to get going. I'm supposed to be visiting a friend. Wait. Let's get a quick pic first." Masao got out a smartphone. "What is that gadget?" Kaori asked. "This is an iPhone." Masao replied. "An eye phone?" Watari asked. He then took the phone and held it up to his eye. "Hello? Hello?" he said, as he handed the phone back to Masao. "There's nobody there." Masao then told Watari "It works better on your ear. Here, come on everybody."

Just then, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari got into position for their picture together. As they got into position, Tsubaki bumped into Kaori, with Kaori saying, "Where do you think you're going?" They then got into position, with Tsubaki "piggy-backing" Kaori and Watari. "Smile!" Masao told them, as he pushed a button the phone to take the picture. The three friends then got back on the ground. Masao said, as he was about to leave "That's great. It's so good to see you guys, really. You haven't changed a bit. See you guys soon!"

As Masao left, Tsubaki was rather upset with Kaori's decision to refuse Masao's offer to stay at his place. "Hey, girl, what- Have you got rocks in your head? Masao was trying to help us out, and you blew him off! What gives?" Kaori then said, "We'll help ourselves out." Tsubaki then said "Well, what about the bakery/orphanage? And Kousei? Masao's dad has dough, maybe he would have given us the 35 million yen."

Kaori replied, "We don't need handouts from that chump; we told those kids and Kousei we'd come up with the cash on our own, and that's just what we are going to do." Tsubaki asked "Yeah, how?" Something came to Kaori. "Well... we still got that seed money, the 10,000 yen, don't we?" Watari then said, "Seed money?" Kaori brought them up to speed. "The cash Kousei's father, Takahiko, gave us, remember?"

Kaori reached into her white Nike shoe and pulled out the seed money. It was ten 1000-yen bills. She smiled at her two friends as she brandished the money. "This 10,000 yen is our ticket to riches, guys!" she added. Watari wanted to know "Riches? Woo-woo, woo-woo. How do you figure?" Kaori then added "Well, it's seed money, right? What do you do with seeds?" Kaori then smacked Tsubaki. "Ow!" Tsubaki yelped. After Tsubaki and Watari failed to come up with a proper answer, Kaori told the two "You plant them. We'll become farmers!"

Watari snapped his fingers; they made a BOING noise as he snapped his fingers. "You're right, Kaori!" Kaori, noticing the noise said "Huh? What's that noise?" He then snapped his fingers to that BOING noise until Kaori snapped and said "OK, WATARI, THAT WAS FUNNY THE FIRST FEW TIMES, BUT NOW IT'S GETTING GRATING!" With that, Watari stopped snapping his fingers.

Tsubaki said "Farmers? Now why didn't I think of that? Kaori, you're a genius! I always wanted to be a farmer. To the farm!" Watari added "To the farm!" and Kaori also said "To the farm!" Tsubaki then got out a kazoo and started to play on it, with the three singing "A-farming-we-will-go! A-farming-we-will-go, a-farming-we-will-go!" Tsubaki added "Woo-hoo!" "A-farming-we-will-go!"

That night, at the mansion, Masao told the same woman whom Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari encountered earlier, "Shizuka, you won't believe who I saw today." Shizuka was brushing her teeth; she was wearing a sports bra and sweatpants. "Huh?" Shizuka asked. Masao then said, "I said you won't believe who I ran into today." Shizuka wanted to know "I can't hear you, darling. What are you saying?" Masao said, "When I visited Akira at the hospital today, I wasn't paying attention and I literally ran into these three guys I haven't seen since I was a kid."

Shizuka said "Yeah, that's nice." Just then, Masao showed Shizuka on his phone the picture of Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari. Shizuka then spit out her toothpaste in shock in Masao's direction. She thought _What the? Those three idiots?_ as she saw the picture. "Are you okay, Shizuka, sister?" Shizuka replied "Yeah, I'm fine." Masao told Shizuka "Anyway, I'm thinking of inviting them to our anniversary party." Shizuka replied in an uneasy tone "Yeah, they look like they're a lot of fun."

* * *

The next day, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari were on a field, or at least, a place that appeared to be an open field. Sure enough, something weird was bound to happen. And that was the fact the three had become salmon farmers, with lots of salmon littered around the field. All three of were tending to salmon by watering them.

As Tsubaki watered one of the salmon, she said "Here's a little drink for you, Elsie." Tsubaki then watered another one. "Josie, you have to hold still in order to get a drink." Tsubaki then came towards another one and watered it. "Hello Maritza, you're getting your color back." Since this was a warm April day, with the hot sun radiating, one of the salmons had flies buzzing around it. Watari then came towards Kaori. He told her, "Ralphie's not looking so good." Kaori then said, "Poor guy's drying out." Watari then said "Oh! Good for you, Ralphie. Realizing there's a problem is half the battle."

Meanwhile, in another area of the golf course, Tenya Iida and Izuku Midoriya noticed all the salmon littered across the golf course. Yes, it turns out that this "field" was actually the Shin Tokyo Tomin Golf Grounds. Tenya and Izuku were playing around, when Izuku said "Tenya, what is with all this salmon? Why does this golf course reek of dead fish?"

Tenya said, noticing Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari's farm-raised salmon booth, "It's probably got to do with those three idiots running that booth over there! Would you excuse me, Izuku, I think I need to have a word with them." Tenya took his golf cart and drove in the direction of the booth. As the three noticed Tenya in his cart, Kaori got on a Toronto Blue Jays baseball cap and said "Alright, you guys, it's showtime! Here comes our first customer!"

All three of them gathered around the booth, as Tenya stopped the cart and came towards the booth. Tenya asked "What the hell are you guys doing?" Kaori replied, "Only selling the finest farm-raised salmon in Tokyo, that's all!" Watari told Tenya "Yeah, they're all free-range. No nets, no cages! They can go wherever they want!" Tsubaki smiled, saying, "Plus we have smoked salmon!" Tsubaki then held up a salmon with a cigar in its mouth.

Tenya then said to the three "But this is a golf course, you morons!" Tsubaki then told Tenya "So what? We let 'em play through, although hitting the salmon is a one-stroke penalty..." Watari added "What's your beef, man?" Kaori told Tenya "Yeah, we're trying to save an orphanage, dude. Look, are you here to buy fish, or are you just kicking the tires?" Watari then added, "And are you here to just park in some places that aren't parking lots, either?" As a police car approached the golf course, with its sirens blaring, Tsubaki then told Tenya "Hey, do your job. Cart path only!" Kaori, under her breath said, "Must be those damn cops from yesterday..."

Inside, officer Kurosawa said as he drove up to the golf course in his car, "Ugh, those three idiots from yesterday! I was just about continue playing _Persona 5 _when we see these guys again, damn those three..." Tenya then came up to the three, saying "I'll cart path you, you stupid little..." Before he could finish his sentence, Kaori poked Tenya on his eyes. All three of them yelped "NYAH-AH-AHH!", as sure enough, officers Kurosawa and Sonoda got out of their squad car, with Kurosawa yelling "YOU IDIOTS AGAIN!" Kaori said, as her suspicions were proven right, "DEAR GOD, IT'S THE FIVE-O AGAIN! LET'S SCRAM, YOU GUYS!"

As the Stooges ran, they took a windmill, and in an attempt to blockade the police officers, threw it to the ground as they ran away. "Ow, my back!" Tsubaki exclaimed. Kaori then instructed her two friends, as she saw a hole in the hedge of the fence, "This way, you guys!" As the Stooges left, Izuku went over to Tenya to check on him. "Are you okay, Tenya?" Izuku asked. Tenya said, in a bit of a daze, "They broke my 15,000-yen pair of glasses! This is going to cost me quite a bit to replace them, those asswipes!" The two officers then yelled at the three as they ran "COME BACK HERE!"

Just then, the Stooges ran through a hole in the hedge. As they got out of the golf course, they found themselves on the other side on a street. Sure enough, the two policemen were hot on their tails, and officer Kurosawa approached the three, saying "GOTCHA!" All three of them exclaimed in fear again, however, Kaori poked officer Kurosawa in the eyes, giving Tsubaki the chance to pull the shirt over his head. After that, Kaori then de-pantsed the officer saying "LOOK OVER THERE!", pointing rightward, in which the officer Kurosawa did look to his right, and Watari then donkey-kicked him in the nether region, yelling "GALACTIC PUNT!" as he did this.

As the three left, officer Sonoda came towards officer Kurosawa. "You okay, officer Kurosawa?" asked Sonoda. A dazed officer Kurosawa said "First I get my chest burned, now I get de-pantsed and kicked in the nuts... oh, god, what a week I'm having. I really gotta get out of this business!" Sonoda then said to Kurosawa, who was busy putting his pants and shirt back on, told him "Well, we don't have much time to catch these idiots, HURRY ON UP! GO!" The gang continued to run away from the police and found themselves onto an intersection. Sure enough, a few cars got in the way, and they honked their horns as Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari attempted to run.

"What's the matter with you? Come on, you!" Kaori yelled. She then yelled at the passing cars as they stopped and honked their horns at the three "WE'RE WALKING HERE, WE'RE WALKING HERE, DAMMIT!" The three continued to run, and Kaori was piggybacking Watari, with Kaori holding a horse racing whip and dangling a hot dog in front of him. "MUSH, WATARI, MUSH!" Kaori instructed Watari, with Tsubaki trailing them. The three found themselves in an alley, right by a door. Kaori patted Watari saying ""Whoa, whoa! Easy there, tiger..."

Watari then ate the hot dog that was dangling from him contently. However, the door was locked, with Tsubaki informing the two "We're trapped like rats!" Kaori replied, "Speak for yourself, rodent!" Kaori then pushed Tsubaki aside, noticing the locked door. "Damn, this door's locked! We're going to need a battering ram!" Watari shuddered. Kaori then said "Lightbulb! Your head is made of titanium, is it not, Watari?" Watari then exclaimed fearfully, knowing the girls would use him as a battering ram to open the door. Officers Kurosawa and Sonoda were still chasing the three, and as they came across the area the three were at earlier, Kurosawa instructed Sonoda "You go that way, I'll go this way!"

The two then split up, with Sonoda saying "Okay!" Kurosawa was running at full pace, but Sonoda, being a bit portlier, ran a bit slower. As Kaori and Tsubaki tried to use Watari to ram open the locked door, the girls said "Heave-ho! Heave-ho!" Watari then told the two "Oh, oh, fellas, ease up, you're squeezing my ankles too tight!" Kaori then said "Quit your whining!" The girls said "HEAVE... HO!" and with that, they were finally able to break open the metal door. Watari then groaned in pain.

They had evaded Kurosawa and Sonoda. The three had entered a room. It was an empty auditorium with bright lights. "Oh, that was a close one..." Watari said. Kaori, her eyes being exposed to the lights, said, "What is that? What's with the light?" Tsubaki then asked Kaori "I got a better question: Why didn't we go live with Masao when we had the chance? Now we got no Masao, no seed money, no nothing!" Watari then added "Yeah, shame on you, Kaori. You put your pride ahead of them kids and Kousei!"

Kaori charged back with "How dare you accuse me of having pride!" Watari grunted angrily at Kaori. Kaori then told Watari "Keep your distance!" Watari then said, "I won't!" defiantly. After a few moments, Kaori then eased up, saying "Okay kid, you got me. You know, I'm proud of you for finally standing up for yourself. Let's shake on it." Kaori then shook Watari's hand, and shoved him, with Watari landing on a metal beam, Watari then rebounded by pushing Kaori, knocking her from behind, and soon, all three of them were engaged in a slapstick fight.

"Get out of here!" Kaori told Tsubaki. "This is all your fault!" she added. "You start with a - Oh, sneaking up on me, eh?" Kaori then told Watari. Kaori then slapped Watari and Tsubaki. "And you! Get over here!" she told Watari. Kaori then pulled Tsubaki's hair, then his Watari in the gut and then over the head with his two fists. "Ooh, ooh!" Watari recoiled in pain. "What's the matter with you? Whoa, whoa!" Kaori told the two. Tsubaki pokes Kaori on her eyes, knocking her backwards over Watari and into a steel pillar. "Why, you...!" exclaimed Kaori as she took a hanging hook on the stage; she was aiming for Watari's head.

"NO, NO, KAORI! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Watari ducked, but Tsubaki got hit on the face with the hook. It then bounced back and hit Kaori's face. Kaori then bumped Tsubaki and Watari's heads, with Tsubaki punching Watari's stomach. Kaori then gave her two friends navel pokes, which gave way to a slap fight. This culminated in all three of them poking their eyes together and bumping each other. All three of them hugged each other, but then they bumped each other's heads. Just as they were about to continue their slapstick fight, Tsubaki restrained Watari and had a word with Kaori.

"Stop it! Stop it, Kaori! I've had it with you. You are the cause of all of our problems since day one!" "How do you figure?" Kaori replied. "You should have gone and lived with Masao's folks back when they wanted to adopt you!" Watari added "That way you could have come back and helped us all out!" Tsubaki continued on with "But no! The great and powerful Kaori is too lazy to squeegee the pool!" Kaori charged back with "You don't know what you're talking about!"

Tsubaki added "Oh no? Why did you think we never got another shot at getting adopted again? It's because when you messed it up that day, you messed it up for all of us!" Kaori reached her breaking point with the two. "If you two got ants in your pants, then why don't you just G-T-F-O? I'm getting sick and tired of looking at your lazy faces anyhow. Being with you two is like dragging around a couple of boat anchors!"

Tsubaki and Watari gasped together, and began to shed tears. "Well, fine. Then... goodbye, Kaori... I hate you." Watari said. Tsubaki said "Yeah, goodbye... Kaori. I hate you too." Kaori then barked "Well, what are you waitin' for? Go on, scram! I bet you two earthworms won't last a day without me! G-T-F-O!" Watari grunted in annoyance, then Tsubaki picked up a clump of her hair, and they both walked out, crying almost silently. Kaori was also about to cry as her two now ex-friends left. Just then the audience in the auditorium says "Bravo!" and cheered as the stage lights reveal the audience portion of the studio; Kaori was unaware that she was taking part in an audition after Tsubaki and Watari left in a hurry. Kaori had stopped crying.

A woman told Kaori "Brilliant, just brilliant! What an original way to showcase your personality by putting on a skit!" A man said "Very smart!" Kaori said to the man and woman, "What the...?" The woman said, "That is exactly what we're looking for! Someone who's not afraid of confrontation, who's passionate about her opinions, right or wrong!" The male said "That is what Japan wants to see!" Kaori said to the man and woman, "What are you guys talking about?" The male said "She is a beauty!"

The woman informed Kaori "Congratulations, girl! You are the newest cast member of Japan's number-one rated reality show!" It turned out the two figures were executives for a Japanese TV network. The audience cheered and Kaori looked on, realizing that she was now about to be famous. This time, these were tears of joy she shed. "Oh, my...! Me, a reality star on TV? This is the best day of my life... so far, anyway..." she said softly. For Kaori Miyazono, her young life was about to take on a more interesting turn.


	11. Chapter 10 - Wrath of Kaede

**CHAPTER 10: THE WRATH OF KAEDE THE LION**

CONTENT WARNING: Well, there is one mention of a part of a lion's male anatomy... down there. XD

The following day, Tsubaki and Watari, minus Kaori, were camped outside of the Ueno Zoo, with a cart full of ice cream with them; they were trying to hawk their wares. "90% off all our treats, folks!" said Watari to the passerby. "We got chocolate, vanilla, strawberry. No reasonable offer will be refused!" Tsubaki then said. "It's remarkable! It's refreshing!" Watari then checked inside the box of the ice cream cart by opening it. It turned out that most of their inventory of ice cream had largely melted because there was not enough ice. "It's repulsive!" Tsubaki then slapped Watari. "OW! What was that for, Tsubaki?" Watari said. Tsubaki then replied with "I told you we'd need more ice!" Tsubaki then asked "Hey, the Ueno Zoo is just right behind us. What do you say we do lunch, huh, Watari?" Watari smiled at her. "Sure!" The two ventured into the Ueno Zoo, with a few of the protesters holding signs supporting Kaede the Lion still convening outside of it.

Unbeknown to the two, Shizuka Kishida and Akira Kaneyama, Shizuka's love and henchman, were watching them from a distance in their car, which was parked in the zoo's parking lot. Shizuka asked Akira "What are you waiting for? Just go in there and do it!" The still-bandaged and banged-up Akira said "What are you, el pollo loco in the head? I can't just walk in the main gates and shoot them. There's people in there. There's protesters. There's cameras everywhere! It'd be impossible to get them this way!" Shizuka sighed and said "Okay. Just give me the gun and I'll do it myself!" Akira replied to her "Why do you gotta do that, huh, Shizuka? Why do you gotta turn everything into me being a weakling? I'm not being weak. I'm being smart!" As he said the last three words, he pointed the pistol at his head, then put it down.

Meanwhile, inside the zoo, a zookeeper was showing a group of grade school students a polar bear that was located inside a water tank. "The polar bear is found mainly in the Arctic Circle and the adjacent land masses as far as south as Newfoundland island. The male bear you're looking at weighs over 1,000 pounds and can become quite aggressive. When hungry, these bears devour large amounts of food rapidly…." As the zookeeper spoke, Watari, who was swimming in the tank, bare-chested wearing nothing but a pair of biker shorts and with a full salmon in his mouth, waved hello as he came towards the group. He waved hello them, and some of the entourage waved hello back. Watari then swam away, trying to escape the polar bear. The zookeeper continued on with "Despite its fluffy fur and teddy bear look, the polar bear is actually one of the most ruthless, predatory carnivores on the planet."

Later, Tsubaki and Watari (now with his regular clothes on), found themselves outside the tank, and onto an area with more aquatic life tanks around it, with Tsubaki drinking a Coca-Cola and eating an egg salad sandwich, and Watari with a hot dog and a Diet Coke. Tsubaki lamented "Quite frankly, Watari, I'm worried about Kaori. You and me, we're survivors. But Kaori-chan, I ain't sure she got the right social skills. She is a sweet girl with beautiful blond hair, but I don't know how she'll fare out there in the outside world!" Watari added "Yeah, "I'm worried, too. I don't know how she's going to fit in out there. Just look at her, she wore glasses a few years ago, now she doesn't. But people think she is both beautiful and a wonderful violinist, that also loves a sports team from Canada….. but yeah, I agree. Being thrown out there into the outside world so quickly….. this scares me!"

Just then, on the other side of the zoo, near a wall, Shizuka and Akira tried to make their way inside the zoo. Akira had climbed his way to the top of the wall, but almost fell down. Akira commanded "Give me a boost, Shizuka!" Shizuka did as told and gave Akira a boost. As she did that Akira, panicked, said to her "HOLD ON, DON'T PUSH!" Akira then fell down on the other side of the wall, finding himself in a lion's pen. "AND HURRY UP!" Shizuka yelled, as she left the area. Akira then slowly got up and realized where he had gotten himself into. Sure enough, there were vertical bars, almost like a prison, and he saw two kids, one a girl, one a boy, holding a bear and dolphin plush doll, respectively, and the two kids pointed to the cage, asking Akira to look behind him. "Penguins?" he asked, as a growling sound was heard. The kids shook their head "No" and turned around. It was a lion, and as the kids walked away, the lion growled aggressively and Akira said, "Good kitty…." As he brandished his pistol and said "I have a gun. Don't make me use it!" The lion tried to come towards Akira. However, the chain that was keeping him fettered pulled him away. Akira was safe for now.

Then, back at the aquarium, Watari and Tsubaki looked at some dolphins. Tsubaki said to the dolphin that came towards them, "Hey there, Flipper. Want a peanut?" The dolphin shook its head. "Dolphins love peanuts, you know, Watari? Here you go, catch!" Tsubaki then threw a full peanut towards the dolphin, but it landed in its blowhole. Both of them exclaimed in fear as they realized where the peanut had landed. "Oh, crap…." Tsubaki said under her breath. Watari then shouted, panicked, "Oh my god! I think he's snufficating!" Tsubaki then said "Don't worry, pal. I know the Heineken maneuver!" and got inside the tank to try and rescue the poor dolphin. Tsubaki then tried out the Heimlich maneuver on the dolphin, but it didn't work. Tsubaki told Watari "It ain't working, Watari!" Watari said "Hang on, Tsubaki, I'm coming! then got inside the tank and told Tsubaki as he pushed her away "You're doing it wrong. Get out of the way!" and tried it himself.

Back in the lion pen, Akira, trying to tame the lion, said " I tawt I taw a puddy tat. I did. I did. Come on. Come on, boy. Who's King of the Forest now?" As he spoke, every time the lion growled and swiped its claws at him, Akira ducked, and tried to "box" the lion.

As Watari tried to dislodge the peanut from the dolphin's blowhole with the "Heineken" maneuver, Watari said to the dolphin "Hang in there, buddy!" Moments later, the peanut finally came loose, and it went off like a bullet. It started to make its way towards the lion cage, before hitting the male lion on the left side of its scrotum. This triggered the lion, and it came loose from its chain, and started to attack Akira mercilessly. He screamed in horror as the lion laid out major punishment on Akira. It turned out that the lion in question was Kaede the lion, the subject of the protester's protests.


	12. Chapter 11 - The Kaori Show?-Closing

**CHAPTER 11: THE KAORI MIYAZONO SHOW?/CLOSING DOWN  
**Later that night, inside the Kishida mansion, Masao and his wife Shizuka were watching TV, going over the channels, until they came to Fuji TV and the popular Japanese reality TV series _Terrace House_, as the two lied down on their bed with their TV in front of them. Masao asked, "Have you ever seen this show?" Shizuka replied with "No." Masao said, "It's quite entertaining." As the opening of _Terrace House_ rolled with the introduction of the cast members, a quite different-looking Kaori graced their screens. She had been made over as a punk rocker, complete with fake tattoos and piercings, including one on her now-visible navel. It turned out that Kaori had auditioned for _Terrace House_, and would be starring alongside five other people, two females, three males. This caught Masao's eye "What the... That's her!" Shizuka said "Who, Masao?" Masao replied with "Kaori! She's on TV!"

On the TV, Kaori told the other five members of the Terrace House, as they had a little cookout, "Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven. Anyone up for some gummy worms?" Her voice had become more huskier, befitting of her new image as a punk rocker. One of the girls, Nanako Ishida said "Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like someone who just was made over a week ago and turned goth." A male, Hidenori Sato said "Hey, did Kaori not you that she's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies and a bakery? A second male, Daisuke Hirosawa said "Good luck. This girl can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you dummy!" Kaori charged back with "Oh, you don't like that cheese, do you? Let's see what we can do about it!"

As they watched, Masao said "Oh, boy. Here we go!" Back on the TV, Kaori took a cheese grater, and rubbed it on Daisuke's foot. "How... about.. some... aged... cheddar, tough guy? Come on!" Daisuke said "What are you, crazy? That's assault, girl!" Kaori responded by slapping Daisuke and saying "Here's your pepper! Shaddup!" The third male cast member, Tatsuo Kousaka said "My girl!" Kaori poked Tatsuo's eyes. "Who asked you, you dumb muscle head?" The second female cast member, Yumi Watanabe said "Kaori, girl, you can't just go around hitting people!" Kaori then said "No? Well, can I do this?" She took out some of Yumi's nose hair. "Hmm, a rare bouquet!" Nanako recoiled and said "Are you kidding me? Who does this?!"

The next day, in another part of Tokyo, there was a sign that said _MISSING: TEEN GIRL, ABOUT OUR HEIGHT, LOVES THE VIOLIN_, with a picture of Kaori on the bottom. It was put up by Tsubaki and Watari. Tsubaki said "We need some help, folks. We're looking for our missing friend. 1000-yen reward. Dead or alive!" They were giving out fliers looking for Kaori, and as Watari handed one to a passerby, he said "Here you are, pal. We're missing our pal." Tsubaki then instructed Watari "Hey, get over there and staple up the rest of these flyers on the pronto." Watari then took three of the fliers, stapling the first two on a couple of trees, then the third on a punk rock-esque teen boy. The boy screamed in pain and then turned to Watari, saying "Thanks a lot, buddy. Now I got a hole in my head!" and walked away.

Tsubaki then told Watari "Hey, quit screwing with the public, Watari!" and slapped him. Watari growled and said "Cut it out! Who do you think you are, huh?" Tsubaki then said to him "Oh, I see. When Kaori slugs you, it's okay. But when I, Tsubaki, do it, it's not good enough!" Watari replied with "No, no, no, Tsubaki. It's good enough. It's just that... you're not doing it right. When Kaori hits me, it's just better, you know?" Tsubaki then said "Well, Watari, you got rocks in your head. I'm hitting you just the same."

Watari then said "No, you're not. You do this!" Watari elbow-punched Tsubaki's stomach, more specially, around her navel, to which he then added "And Kaori does this!" Watari punched Tsubaki in the same area. "And Kaori does this!" He then bonked on Tsubaki's nose. "And you do this!" He repeated what he did on Tsubaki. "You see?" Tsubaki sighed and said, "Come on, Watari, think! Where would we go if we were Kaori-chan?" The two took a moment to think things over. "Home...!" said Watari. Tsubaki said "Yeah!" Watari and Tsubaki then went into opposite directions, when Tsubaki whistled to command Watari to follow her lead. "Watari, get back here!" He then walked with Tsubaki.

Later that day, both Tsubaki and Watari found themselves at the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage.

MUSICAL NOTE: "Seasons Change" by Expose

_Some dreams are in the nighttime  
And some seem like yesterday  
But leaves turn brown and fade  
Ships sail away  
You long to say a thousand words  
But seasons change_

_It feels like it's forever  
No reason for emptiness  
But time just runs away  
No more day by day  
You dream again it seems in vain  
When seasons change_

_I want you  
I want to feel you by my side  
I need you  
Don't you know I need you baby_

_Seasons change feelings change  
It's been so long since I found you  
Yet it seems like yesterday  
Seasons change people change  
I'll sacrifice tomorrow  
Just to have you here today..._

The bakery/orphanage was largely empty. As they went inside, Tsubaki called "Hello? Anybody in here?" Watari added "This looks sad. It's almost like a barren wasteland..." They then heard the sounds of a TV. They then ventured inside a room, where Yoshiyuki Miyazono was sitting on a recliner, watching TV. He was watching a sports news show, when he changed the channel. Tsubaki said "Mr. Miyazono." Yoshiyuki replied back "Tsubaki? Watari? What are you two doing here?" Tsubaki replied with "We've been looking everywhere for your daughter and our friend, Kaori." Watari then asked Yoshiyuki "Where has she been?"

Yoshiyuki then said "Yeah, I, and my wife, Kousei's father and Hiroko see her almost every night on TV. She's on that show called _Terrace House_." Tsubaki then asked "Wait... what?" Yoshiyuki then said "I don't know whether you know this, but my daughter Kaori, despite the fact that she's been made over into a punk rock star, a complete betrayal of her personality, is now a big celebrity now. I mean, I couldn't recognize it was my daughter until her name flashed on the screen when I first saw her! One day, she just might say she'll move to Hollywood..." Watari then replied "Oh! Good for her..."

Tsubaki then said "Yeah. Looks like Kaori didn't need us after all..." Something dawned on Tsubaki. "So, what happened? Where are all the kids? And Kousei?" Yoshiyuki replied with "Sadly, they're closing us down next Monday, so we had to start moving everyone out... Kousei has split his time between the Totsuhara Hospital and here. He's been limping a bit and speaking slower. He's declined a little bit... but not much to cause any more worries. He's coming along, though..." Tsubaki told Yoshiyuki "But we told you to wait. We were going to get the money!" Yoshiyuki then said, "You got the money?" Watari said "We got the money?" Tsubaki sighed and said, "Well, no... but we're working on it."

Kousei, calling the two another room, said in a weakened voice, "Tsubaki... Watari? Come in." Tsubaki and Watari came into Kousei's room. Inside it were him, Hiroko Seto, Ryoko Miyazono and Takahiko Arima. He said, bed-ridden, and bare-chested wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, "At least... you guys... tried." Tsubaki then said "Kousei!" Watari then said, as the three hugged each other "Thank God you're still here!" Kousei said "Even though... it feels like... the walls.. are... closing in... on me... lately, I'm coming... along well. I'm being... tested... daily. Please... don't let... my slow... speaking fool... you guys. I was told... one of the... kids... his name was Tatsunori... they tried to shoo him out, but he told us he wasn't leaving without her." Tsubaki then asked, "Who?" Kousei said "His twin sister... Minako."

Tsubaki then had another question. "Why isn't Kousei in a hospital?" Hiroko said "Well, Tsubaki and Watari..." Ryoko said "At the moment, his health may be bad, but it is not such that he needs to be in the hospital full time. Also, I should add we also have no liability insurance. Yes, the Japanese government does cover all Kousei's health needs, but this place has had too many other liabilities, which aren't covered!" Tsubaki then said "You should get some. Just call that little green alligator guy on those commercials in America!"

Ryoko Miyazono, reading a music book, shut it and then angrily approached Tsubaki and Watari. "Okay, that's it. I've had it with you two! Do you want to know why we have no liability insurance? It's because you asshats have caused so many accidents to this business over the years, there's not a damn company on this Earth that will cover us until we pay the 35 million yen we owe for previous claims! And that's why we're being closed down!" Ryoko wanted to try and hit the two, but Hiroko and Takahiko, alongside one of the male assistants, restrained her. "That's enough, Ryoko! Take it easy!" Hiroko warned her. Takahiko said "Mrs. Miyazono, don't start!"

Watari then said "Wait. You mean the orphanage is closing because of _us_?" Ryoko then said, "Check it out. Tsubaki, Watari, you're responsible for all _that_. You are, and that dumbass Kousei." Hiroko then angrily told Ryoko "Ryoko, you take back what you just said about Kousei right now!" Watari asked "Responsible for what?" Ryoko said "Turning my daughter into a rock star. This isn't the I Kaori knew and raised, the Kaori I knew loved classical music, but would only listen to pop and rock music once in a blue moon. I mean, it's a complete heel turn of her personality! I couldn't even recognize her when I first saw her like that! And I'm sorry, Kousei..." Kousei said weakly "Apology... accepted... Mrs. Miyazono."

Tsubaki then said "But I thought this is what you wanted from your daughter, Ryoko! To become famous!" Ryoko sighed, sniffled, holding back tears, and said "It is... but it's just _not_ the way I wanted her to be famous! I wanted her to become a renowned classical musician, not some fake rock star!" Watari asked, "What about Kousei, though? What does he think of it?" Kousei said "Well... I didn't recognize... her... at first. But... I think.. she's quite... good-looking... as a rock star." Just then, a monitor went off. It turned out it wasn't from Kousei's bed, but from Ryoko's mobile phone. She answered it. "Yes, I asked for two supreme pizzas, not one! And bring the large breadsticks as well!"


	13. Chapter 12 - Friendship-The Old Kaori

CHAPTER 12: THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP/GETTING THE OLD KAORI BACK

~MUSIC MONTAGE~  
MUSICAL NOTE: "Waste" by Foster the People

Tsubaki and Watari walked around Tokyo, and suddenly stopped and came across a Bic Camera store that had a display of TVs. They were watching Kaori's many antics on _Terrace House_.

_You know it's funny how freedom can make us feel contained_  
_Yeah when the muscles in our legs aren't used to all the walking_

On the TV, the punk rocker Kaori said "Is that what you think? Shaddup!" and slapped Daisuke silly. "Hey, Kaori!" said Nanako. Kaori did the same thing to Nanako and said "You, too!" then slapped Daisuke again, saying to him "Here's another one!" As her two friends watched Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari couldn't help but laugh at her slapping and poking the _Terrace House_ cast.

_I know if you could snap both your fingers than you'd escape with me_  
_But in the meantime I'll just wait here and listen to you when you speak, or scream_

On the TV, they then saw Kaori approach both Hidenori and Tatsuo as they sat on a couch reading books, with Kaori holding a box. As Kaori sat down next to Hidenori, she said "Hiya, Hide-chan, I got you a present." Hidenori replied with "Yeah, really?" to which Kaori replied back with "Yeah, go on, open it." Hidenori opened the box, to which Kaori delivered a finger poke to his eyes upon discovering the box was actually empty. "OW! JEEZ!" yelled Hidenori.

_And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can_  
_And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can..._

Kaori just laughed at him. Tsubaki and Watari were now chuckling at Kaori's antics. Then, as the two slept in a dumpster, Watari dreaming about dancing around in a field of bubbles with Kaori, Tsubaki and Kousei. The bedridden Kousei also watched Kaori on the TV, and with his shirt open, laughed at her tricks she pulled on the Terrace House cast. Back on the Terrace House set, Kaori slapped the side of Nanako's face and her forehead, then she slapped Daisuke as well, saying "There you go!"

The producers of _Terrace House_ were watching with delight, as Tsubaki and Watari kept on laughing at Kaori's antics. Kousei reacted likewise watching the show while bedridden. Back on the set, Kaori waved her hand up and down in front of Nanako's face as Kaori said "Why, you...!" Kaori lowered her hand to the pool table, and quickly waved her hand up and down in Nanako's face, making a rhythmic bonking sound. Tsubaki and Watari, judging by their increasing laughter, couldn't get enough of Kaori's craziness, even though they were watching outside of the store in the rain! The same could be said of the ill Kousei, as well.

Then, Kaori held her fist in front of Daisuke; he hits Kaori's fist, which curved upward and hit Daisuke on the head. "You see that?" she said to him. Of course, an old saying goes that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Hidenori tried to imitate Kaori only for this trick to backfire on him for Kaori knocked Daisuke's fist back into his own face. A bit later, Kaori then broke a pool cue stick on Hidenori, as Kaori said "Business!" Then Kaori laughed while she holds a hot curling iron on Tatsuo's tongue.

The TV then showed Kaori hitting Nanako on the nose, then slapping her on the chin. Kousei, Tsubaki and Watari were liking what they saw, and they were eating it up like ice cream. Finally, Tsubaki and Watari, and Kousei by himself continued laughing at Kaori's antics as Kaori breaks a microwave oven over Hidenori head and set the timer; Hidenori's eyes bulged out of their sockets as the electricity flowed. "Why, you...!" she said as she did this.

* * *

The next day, Watari and Tsubaki ventured into the law office building where Masao worked. They found a few law offices, then found the one that Mr. Kishida were working at. "Takahashi, Urashima and Kishida, what can I do for you?" asked a receptionist over the phone. "Yes, I'll connect you now." She then hung the phone up as Watari and Tsubaki approached the desk, with the receptionist saying "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but the clown college is on the ninth floor." Tsubaki told the lady, "Oh, no, I'm here to see Masao Kishida. Tell him it's his old pal, Tsubaki Sawabe at the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage.

The receptionist told Tsubaki "Oh. Masao's not here. He's out making arrangements for his anniversary party." Tsubaki then asked, "All right, then, can I speak to his old man?" The woman then replied, "Mr. Kishida is at lunch, but he should be back soon." Tsubaki then said, "Nice glasses." The lady said, "Why, thanks." Tsubaki then said, "You got a little spot there, let me help you out." Tsubaki then took the receptionist's glasses, licking them with her tongue, followed by a spit-shine, wiping them clean. Tsubaki then handed the receptionist's glasses back to her, saying, "There you are, good as new. By the way, do not lick those, I'm just getting over pinkeye."

Just then, Mr. Takayoshi Kishida approached Tsubaki and Watari. "Mr. Kishida! You're just the guy I wanted to see." Mr. Kishida said "I'll take the case. Please tell me it was Gold Salons who did this to you." Tsubaki then said "No, it's me, Tsubaki Sawabe... Kaori Miyazono, Tsubaki Sawabe and Ryouta Watari, remember? From the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage." Watari then rhythmically clapped his hands and barked. Mr. Kishida then said "Oh, my... goodness! Well, congratulations, you're still in remission. So... what brings you here?" Watari then said "Look, I'll cut to the chase, moneybags: we're in a jam. The Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage needs 35 million yen, or it's going belly-up." Tsubaki then said, "Plus we got an ill boy with glasses getting fitted for angel wings."

Mr. Kishida asked "Terrific! So, who do we sue?" Tsubaki answered "Oh no, there's no one to sue; we need you to give us the money." Watari said "Yeah." as he chuckled. Tsubaki added "But we're not looking for a handout, mind ya. We'll work off every last penny right here in these halls!" Mr. Kishida sighed and said "Look, I'm sorry, but, uh... I'm... committed to several other charities, and besides, I don't have that kind of money just laying around. But if you decide to sue the bakery/orphanage, I'm in." Watari said "Uh, Kishida-san, please, I know what you're thinking: That we're both lazy bums like Kaori, but - but we're not. Uh, some of us aren't afraid to get our hands dirty."

Mr. Kishida said to the two "What? No, I never thought of Kaori as lazy." Tsubaki then said, "It's all right, that slug told us the whole story about why you dropped her back off." Mr. Kishida replied with "Well, I can assure you it had nothing to do with her work ethic; she was seven then. No, what - what happened was she wanted us to go back for you two, and frankly, it was... too much for us. We later found out that as the daughter of one of the owners, she also was not meant to be put up for adoption."

Tsubaki and Watari then looked at each other in amazement. "You mean... she wouldn't go without us? She was not meant to be put up for adoption?" Mr. Kishida then added "No, she wouldn't. She was very adamant about wanting us to adopt all three of you, and... it was just out of the question, you understand. As I also said, she's also the daughter of one of the families of the company that owns the bakery/orphanage. Anyhoo, I got to skedaddle, I'm late for a meeting. But if you ever do want to sue anyone for anything - a slip in the tub, a bone in the fish - I'm your guy." Mr. Kishida then left.

As he left, Watari sighed. He then looked a picture that was hanging on the walls. It was of Masao Kishida, and a few other figures, including Akira Kaneyama. Tsubaki then asked "Hey, who's this lady?" The receptionist got back to them, saying "That's Masao's wife, Shizuka." Tsubaki then asked, "Masao's wife?" The receptionist said "Yep. Oh, she's one lucky girl." Tsubaki continued on with "Then who's the guy on the end?" The receptionist continued with "Oh, that's Masao's best friend, Akira Kaneyama." Watari then asked "Well, then who's Mr. Fancy-Pants in the top hat and scarf?" The lady replied with "That's a snowman." To which Tsubaki asked "Yeah, but what's his name?"

* * *

Back on the set of _Terrace House_, the five other cast members declared mutiny on the producers of the show. Kaori also happened to be with them. Yumi protested to the producers, "Now look: Either you kick that fake-ass rocker chick Kaori off the show, or we're suing her!" Nanako added "Like, with a lawyer!" The female producer said, "Court sounds okay to me." She then asked her male assistant "You know, we could probably do a cross-promotion with _The Cell_." Nanako was incensed. "Great, just great. So basically, what you're saying is this whole show is about the ratings?" The female executive said "Uh, yeah. The ratings for this show are among some of the highest for this network, and in all of TV in Japan!" Both Tatsuo and Daisuke said "OOOOOHH!" The five cast members then groaned with annoyance. Yumi then said "Goddamnit..."

Kaori then pointed to Yumi's Guinness hat. "Look, just 'cause she's wearing a _GENIUS_ hat doesn't mean she is one." Just then, some bonks, honks and smacks were heard, as Tsubaki and Watari tried to make their way towards the set while fighting off the on-set security guards. Watari "WOOB-WOOB"ed as he and Tsubaki got onto the set. Kaori said, upon recognizing her friends "Softball girl! Soccer boy!" Tsubaki then told the punk rock Kaori "Look, Kaori, we owe you an apology." Kaori said "No, fellas, I'm the one who owes you the apology. I know sometimes I tend to fly off the handle and..." Tsubaki said "No, you don't!" Kaori sighed, and replied "Yes, I do." Watari said "No, it's just that you get a little upset and..." Kaori then flicked Tsubaki and Watari on their noses, and she then slapped her two friends. "Shut up when I'm apologizing!" Kaori shouted.

Tsubaki then brought Kaori up to speed. "We don't have time for that! Masao's in a jam!" Watari added "Yeah, you know that woman who wanted us to take out her husband?" Watari gasped and hissed, and added "She's married to Masao!" For Kaori, the things from the past few days were starting to tie together. "No wonder she wanted us to smother him in his sleep! It all ties together!" Watari added "Yeah…." Kaori then said, "I knew I smelled a..." Just then, Yumi, Nanako, and Hidenori recoiled and yelled "A rat! A rat! Eek!"

Sure enough, it wasn't just any rat that showed up: It was Watari's pet rat, Akamaru. Kaori then picked him up, saying, "That's not just any rat, it's Akamaru!" Watari then said, as Kaori gave Akamaru to Watari, "How you doing, buddy? Aw, I missed you too, Aka-chan!" Tsubaki then said, "Come on, we got work to do. We got to get to Masao before his wife does!" Kaori then said, "Come on!" Watari chuckled, and rhythmically snapped his fingers at the _Terrace House_ cast, saying "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Rrowff!" Kaori then pulled Watari out of the studio by his ear, saying "Come on, Romeo!" The female producer said "Are you kidding me? There's three of them?"

As they left the studio, both Tsubaki and Watari needed to have a little talk with her about her weird look. Tsubaki was the first to ask about Kaori's punk rock look. "What have you done to yourself, Kaori?!" she demanded to know. Kaori said "I didn't do this! One of the producers thought it would be a good idea to make me over into a punk rocker; they thought that a classical music loving girl wouldn't draw ratings, so they made me over head to toe! Apparently, one of them went a bit overboard and pierced my navel! They also told me to make my voice deeper, too….. ow, OW! Stomach in pain…."

Watari said "BAKA! That's what you get for getting a piercing over there! Come on, before we get down to work, we've got to make you over! We want the old Kaori back! Let's go to a store to get you some new clothes!" Kaori said "Yeah, I'm down. I really hated this look anyway, damn this piercing... OW!" Tsubaki, Watari and Kaori then made their way back into Tokyo and headed for a clothing store to de-punkify Kaori and turn her back into her old self.


	14. Chapter 13 - The Old Kaori-Anniversary

**CHAPTER 13: "THE OLD KAORI IS BACK!"/THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY  
**CONTENT WARNING: Some strong language, and the involvement of a certain part of the female anatomy...

* * *

Tsubaki, Watari and Kaori ventured into a teen clothing store. Both of Kaori's friends wanted to get the old Kaori back, so in they went. They couldn't quite decide on how to make her over, but after about a half-hour of disagreeing with how to dress her up, they finally found something sporty, and Tsubaki and Watari approved. Kaori was now back to her regular self again. She said to her two friends "Well, I'm glad I'm my old self again. The old Kaori is back!"

Tsubaki and Watari nodded in agreement as they left the store. "And thank god that navel piercing is no more... it was killing my sensitivity!" Tsubaki said "Agreed... you looked out of place as a punk rocker." Watari said "Now we have to get dressed for the anniversary party that Masao's at!" The three then made their way into a formal clothing store. Kaori would be clad in a white dress, Tsubaki in a red dress, and Watari in a tuxedo.

Meanwhile, at the Kishida mansion, where Masao was having his party, Akira and Shizuka talked to each other about the party. "I don't get you, Shizuka. Why would you throw a big anniversary party for Masao? I thought we were trying to kill that guy." Shizuka said "We are. We just need lots of witnesses when that butthead 'accidentally' falls from the balcony." Akira said "Oh, I see where you're going with this now, Shizuka." Just then, Mr. Kishida came over to the two and said "Well, you eight are certainly looking rather cozy."

He then noticed the scratch on the right side of Akira's face. "Good lord, Akira. What happened to your face?" Akira said "New kitty. I'm going to go and freshen up my drink..." and walked off. Meanwhile, two children, a boy and a girl came up to Shizuka. "Mrs. Kishida, may we please go upstairs and play in Masao's game room?" the boy asked. Shizuka then said "No, you can't go upstairs. Masao is busy entertaining some of my bowling club friends. Go! Play with the balloons." The girl said "But my stupid brother popped all the balloons! This is the last one." Shizuka then asked a woman, "We can get more balloons. Miss Satou, go get more balloons." Miss Satou said "Yes, ma'am."

Outside the mansion, Butler Matsuura greeted people that were coming in. "Madame. Madame. Sir, madame." Butler Matsuura then noticed, from back to front, Tsubaki, Watari and Kaori on an elongated skateboard, almost like Santa Claus's sleigh, being accompanied by six large dogs with Kaori holding their leash. "MUSH! MUSH!" Kaori commanded them as she wielded a horse racing whip to get the dogs moving. Just then, Kaori lost control of the leash and the skateboard, and as she lost control, she yelled "OH, CRAP, YOU GUYS!" Butler Matsuura said as she saw the three "What the...?" and all three careened into Butler Matsuura. "WHOAAA!" screamed Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari as they tackled him to the ground.

All four quickly got back up, and shook themselves off, and both Kaori and Tsubaki adjusted their dresses so they wouldn't be showing anything inappropriate. "Now, we got to..." Tsubaki then accidentally slapped Kaori as she turned around and faced Tsubaki. "WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!" As she stopped, Kaori said "What's the matter with you? You had the rudder. Don't you know how to drive?" Tsubaki said "It just went out of control. What kind of dogs are those anyway?" Kaori said, "Just some standard Shiba Inus." Tsubaki said "There's your problem, Kaori. I can't drive a standard."

Butler Matsuura approached the trio. "You blithering idiots! What do you think you're doing?" Kaori said "Outta the way, 3PO. We gotta get Masao." Matsuura then shoved Kaori, which caused a domino effect as Kaori bonked Tsubaki, then Tsubaki bonked Watari. "OW!" they all yelled. Matsuura said "This is an invitation-only party. Now, get out and good day!" As he said this, he pointed to the backyard. All three walked off, dejected. Watari said, "Well, damn. Now what are we going to do, girls?" Miss Satou said "Keitarou Koizumi, send those balloon people in as soon as they get here." Mr. Koizumi said, "Will do."

Kaori then told, "Liiiightbulb! You guys, that is our cue. Now, let's get moving!" Moments later, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari walked back into the mansion holding lots of balloons, posing as those so called "balloon people". Kaori said, "Balloon people coming through!" Tsubaki said "We're the balloon people, at your service! Out of our way, these things are heavy!" Kaori then handed a balloon to the man guarding the gate as he opened it for the three, saying "There you go, crusher."

The three had made their way back in the Kishida mansion. They tried to look for Masao. Kaori told Tsubaki and Watari, "Guys, I don't see him anywhere." Watari then said, "I smell lobster..." Kaori then instructed her friends, "Okay, you guys, spread out and look for Masao. And remember, a man's life is at stake here." As the three split up, Watari gave his bunch of balloons to a young girl. "Ah, here you are, short stack." He said as he handed the girl his balloons. "Thanks, mister." The girl replied, and as she got the balloons, she went flying up in the air.

Meanwhile, Tsubaki took a drink from a fountain, drinking it almost like a dog would. "Aah... that's good." She then said to a man waiting for his turn, "You're up, pal." The man said "No thanks... my, that's an interesting haircut." Tsubaki said "Thanks, but it's not without some help. I have a great deal of product in there." The man left, and Tsubaki turned her attention to Watari, who was holding a whole punch bowl. "Hey! Where are your manners?" Watari raised his pinkie finger at her. "Attaboy." Watari then took a huge gulp of the punch, and when he finished, he asked Tsubaki, "How's the dip?" Tsubaki said "Here, try it for yourself." Tsubaki took her finger and put some dip on it. Watari then licked it off, and he liked the taste. "Hmm... that's some nice crab dip..." he said contently.

Then, a heavy-set woman said "Hokkaido is so yesterday. This season we're thinking of going to Canada." Just then, Kaori approached the woman, and asked "Hey, Jumbotron, you seen Masao anywhere?" The woman said "No, I haven't. How rude!" and walked off. Her husband also looked at Kaori repulsively and walked away as well. Kaori then saw Tsubaki and Watari waiting in line for some food. Kaori came up to them. Kaori asked them "Pardon me, but what are you grub worms doing?"

Tsubaki said "Just having some snacks." Watari then said, "Getting seconds on lobster." Kaori then said to Watari "Seconds? I thought lobster upset your stomach!" Watari then showed Kaori a small bowl of a pink liquid and said to her "I dipped it in Pesto-Bismol!" Kaori then said to Watari "Oh! You like dipping, eh? Come here!" and dunked Watari's head into a water tank, and when she pulled Watari's head back up, he had a live lobster stuck to the bottom of his head. "YAAAH! GET THIS THING OUTTA MY FACE!" Watari yelled. Tsubaki said as she giggled at Watari "Look, it's Santy Claws. Claws!" Kaori said to Tsubaki, "What did I tell you about puns, you dumbass?"

Kaori then said to her "I BET YOU'LL LIKE THIS!" and then took the lobster and put it at the bottom of Tsubaki's red dress. The lobster than made its way up Tsubaki's dress, making all sorts of weird noises, before the lobster reached her chest, and put both of its pincers on Tsubaki's nipples. This hurt Tsubaki so bad, she screamed out loud, and singing a high note like an opera singer. Kaori and Watari covered their ears over this loud noise. with Kaori thinking to herself, her face filled with annoyance _Damn, that's loud! I didn't know she could sing THAT high!_ Watari, on the other hand, had spirals in his eyes despite the fact his ears were covered. After a few moments, and with her chest in pain, Tsubaki then threw the lobster away and it landed on Shizuka's face. Shen the angrily threw it away, and noticed Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari play-fighting, bonking and smacking each other silly.

Shizuka said "Excuse me..." and tried to walk over to the three. "WHADDYA TRYING TO DO, GET US THROWN OUT OF HERE? I'LL FIX YOU!" Kaori said to Tsubaki. Kaori then took a live octopus and said to herself, "It's first and ten at the Calgary Stampeder 25-yard line, Kaori goes back to throw..." and threw the octopus at Tsubaki. It instead missed her and hit a male guest in its face. Tsubaki then took a shovel that was near her and tried to get the octopus off the man's face. "Hold still, mister, I'll get it for you!" She then swung the shovel at the octopus, but it leapt off before she could hit it and hit the man's face instead. Shizuka told Akira "Those three asswipes are here at the party, Akira!" Akira then said "Momoiro Clover Z? Where are they?" Shizuka said, "NO! That blond violin girl, plus her two asshat friends! They crashed the party!" Akira then said "Oh, shit. We got to get them out before they ruin everything!" The two tried to run over to the three, but a French chef got in their way.

"Madame, may I present to you my masterpiece!" He then showed them a large, four-layer cake. Just then, a woman screamed in horror over the same girl that Watari gave the balloons to earlier, as she was now in the air with those balloons. "SOMEBODY HELP HER!" The girl said "MOMMY! HELP!" Kaori asked "Hurry! Think of something, lamebrains!" Just then, Tsubaki noticed a bow and arrow hung on a wall. "Hey, look! A balloon popper!" Tsubaki then got the bow and arrow set down and ran up and tried to aim the arrow at the girl with the balloons. Kaori tried to stop her from using the bow and arrow, saying "What's the matter with you? That's a kid up there. You think you're an expert at holding this bow and arrow?" Kaori then bonked the bow on Tsubaki's forehead, releasing the arrow, and popping a couple of the balloons. The girl then fell down, but what broke her fall was the large cake made by the French chef. The girl was safe, but pretty excited over that high she got. "That was awesome!" she said. The chef wailed "No! Mon gâteau!"

Kaori then said to a few men that were near them "Come on, fellas. Pardon me." The three found themselves surrounded by the Kishida's bodyguards. Kaori said "Oh, god, we're cornered! The Kishidas have their guards out in full force!" They exclaimed fearfully as they made their way inside the mansion. In one corner, the guards were there. In another was Akira Kaneyama. They made their way upstairs and inside Masao's room. Watari tried to close the doors of the room but wound up opening them both. Kaori slapped him silly. "Come on!" she said as he dragged Watari by his ear. Masao was on his bed, wearing a tank top and shorts "Where... am I?" he asked. He was dazed and drugged. "Masao... Masao... Masao... Masao! Speak to me! What is going on? What's wrong?" Kaori asked him and jostled him lightly. Masao responded with "Who are you?" Kaori said, "It's us, Kaori..." "Tsubaki..." Tsubaki then added, and finally Watari "And Watari!"

Masao came to his senses and said "Guys... guys... what are you doing here?" Kaori said, "It's alright, we'll get you outta here..." Just then, before the three could do anything more, Akira and Shizuka walked into the room, with Akira brandishing a pistol and a martini glass. Akira then quickly hid the pistol behind his back. Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari exclaimed fearfully as they came in. Kaori asked "What is the meaning of this?" Masao then said "Oh, hey, Akira, Hey, Shizuka-chan, thanks so much for inviting Kaori and her friends behind my back." Kaori then said, "That's not the only thing she's doing behind your back!" Watari added "She's going to smother you in your sleep!" Tsubaki also added "And it looks like she gave you a sip of knock-out juice!" Masao said "Shizuka-chan, what the hell are they talking about?" Shizuka said "Honey, I am as confused as you are. All I know is that these people crashed our party, and when we tried to remove them, they start acting crazy!"

Kaori then said, "Masao, you've known us since you were a baby. Why, we were the ones who taught you how to play with matches. We treated you like a little brother. Why would we lie to you now?" Masao then said "Wait, Shizuka... why am I still in bed if the party's going on?" Akira said, "I'll tell you why..." and drew out his pistol and cocked it at Masao, Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari. "Oh, god, no..." Masao said fearfully, with the three also exclaiming fearfully. Mr. Kishida said in a foreboding voice "Don't even think about it, Akira." He too had a pistol in his hands, and ordered Akira, "Real slow now, Akira. Drop it to the floor..." And Akira put down his pistol. Kaori said "Whew..." Masao then said "Good work, dad. I had a feeling something was going on. But you, Akira? I mean, you were my best pal! Why would you do that?" Akira had his hands up in surrender. Akira then said, "It wasn't my idea!" He then pointed to Shizuka, saying "She was calling the shots, I swear!"

As Mr. Kishida continued to hold up his pistol, he said "No, Akira, I was calling the shots." Shizuka walked up to Mr. Kishida and kissed his cheek. "Oh, and you three morons want to know what we did with your friend?" Kaori said "Who, you mean Kousei?" Mr. Kishida, "Yes, your damn friend Kousei!" He then opened up a closet, and in it, was Kousei Arima, bare-chested wearing nothing but sweatpants, bound to a chair, gagged, and his mouth taped shut. Despite the fact his mouth was taped shut, he tried to communicate with his friends. (_KAORI! TSUBAKI! WATARI! THESE THREE S.O.B. LOWLIFES TOOK ME AND TIED ME UP! HURRY! HELP ME! I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE!_)

Kaori looked on in horror at the sight of her captured friend. "OH, MY GOD!" she yelled out. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY FRIEND?! THAT IS JUST FUCKING WRONG AND LOW!" she yelled. "YOU REALIZE THAT HE IS ILL! WHAT THE HELL WOULD POSSESS YOU TO KIDNAP MY DEAREST FRIEND?! TO USE US AS PAWNS FOR YOUR LITTLE INHERITANCE SCHEME IS ONE THING, BUT TO TAKE OUR FRIEND AND HOLD HIM CAPTIVE LIKE THAT IS QUITE ANOTHER! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, YOU GODDAMN LOWLIFES!" Mr. Kishida said "You three ruined Shizuka's plot. So, we retaliated by kidnapping your friend, and I don't give two shits about the fact he's ill!" Mr. Kishida warned. "Everyone, I suggest we finish this discussion in a more secluded place so as not to ruin the party. You three, don't do ANYTHING stupid... OR IT'S BYE-BYE, KOUSEI!" Shizuka said "Yes. After all, it is my anniversary..." Mr. Kishida said, as he laughed, "Ouch..."


	15. Chapter 14 - Hostage-Saved-The End?

**CHAPTER 14: TAKEN HOSTAGE/SAVED!/THE END?**  
This is it! This is the last chapter of this story, and it's a bit shorter, both chapter and word-count wise. I hope you've enjoyed it! My "Thought Process" will follow shortly...

CONTENT WARNING: A little bit more coarse language.

Mr. Kishida, Masao, Akira, Shizuka, Kaori, Tsubaki, Watari and the bound-and-gagged Kousei were all in a van together, driving in an unknown location outside of Tokyo. Mr. Kishida pointed his pistol at Shizuka, who also had a pistol, and in turn, pointed it at Akira. Masao asked Mr. Kishida "I don't get it. Why did it have to come to this, dad?"

Mr. Kishida replied "Well, son, I didn't get rich simply by lawyering. I married into it. Unfortunately, when your mom passed away, she left everything to you." Akira, realizing something, said "So you were just using me as a pawn to do your dirty work for you." Shizuka said in a mocking voice, "Oh, you cracked the code." Kousei tried to communicate in spite of his taped mouth. (_WELL, THIS IS ONE BIG TRAP YOU HAVE GOTTEN ME AND MY FRIENDS INTO!_)

Just then, Watari began to laugh uncontrollably. Akira wanted to know "What's so funny, you shaggy haired asshat?" Watari said, "Nothing. Akamaru's whiskers are tickling me!" Shizuka asked "Who the hell's Akamaru?" Watari then pulled his pet rat Akamaru out of one of his pockets and said "Him." The occupants of the front seat, Mr. Kishida, Shizuka and Akira began to scream over the sight of the pet rat. Akamaru then got on top of Shizuka's breasts, and she yelled to get the rat off her.

"GET THIS THING OFF ME, DAMMIT!" All of the occupants of the car started to scream as it began to swerve out of control. "TAKE IT OUT!" Shizuka yelled. The van then landed into a small lake, with everyone screaming. "OPEN THE DOOR!" commanded Akira. He then said, "SHOOT THE WINDOW OUT!" The gun clicked. Nothing. "NO, IT'S WET!" yelled Mr. Kishida. "WHY DID YOU LET THE DAMN GUN GET WET?!" Shizuka asked.

The car was starting to seep in with water. Before long, about ¾ of the car was submerged in water, with everyone just bunched together, including Kousei. For him, he could only breathe with his nose, so he could be in danger at any minute. "How long will the air last?" Shizuka wanted to know. Mr. Kishida said, "Maybe five minutes if we stay calm." Tsubaki suggested "We gotta break a window!" Masao said "It's impossible! There's 1000 pounds/454 kilograms of water pressing against that glass!" Akira said "Goddamnit! How can this possibly get any worse?!" Just then, Watari passed some gas, which caused some of the water to bubble.

Everyone in the car groaned in disgust over what Watari did. Kaori said "Jeez, Watari!" Watari said "I'm sorry. I guess the Pesto-Bismol didn't help with the lobster!" Kaori asked him, as she grabbed his ear, "Did you eat the damn shells again?" Watari said "I don't know. It was on the plate and then it wasn't!" Something sprang to Kaori. "LIGHTBULB! Does anyone have a lighter?" Tsubaki then got out some matches and said. "No. All I got are these stupid easy-light waterproof safety matches!" Kaori said "CLOSE ENOUGH! THAT'LL DO, TSUBAKI! GIMME A MATCH!" and bonked Tsubaki. Kousei tried to say something. (_HURRY! KAORI, WATARI, TSUBAKI, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE LEFT IN THIS WATER!)_

Kaori then instructed everyone as she grabbed a match from Tsubaki, "EVERYONE, CLOSE YOUR EYES!" and then instructed Watari "WATARI, LET 'ER RIP!" Watari then said, "Maybe that's not such a..." As Kaori lit the match on Watari's nose, he passed gas again, and the car exploded underwater. Everyone was now freed from the confines of the car, and everyone was gasping. Kaori tried to find Kousei, as Akamaru swam, making the "Woob-woob-woob!" noises. Kaori then found the still bound-and-gagged Kousei, and removed all the ties from him, and removed the tape from his mouth. Kousei was without his glasses, and his breathing was labored.

She said "Kousei! Speak to me!" Kousei, who was quite frail, said "Those... three... shitheads... took... me... I'll... never... forgive... the... Kishidas... for... kidnapping... me..." Everyone surfaced up, and a few police cars, alongside an ambulance came towards the scene. Kousei was going to be taken for emergency care. Before he left, Kaori said "Kousei... please, speak to me. Speak to me." Kousei said, weakly, "Kaori... I love... you... you all... did... your best... in trying... to save... our business... sorry... too weak... can't... talk... goodbye..." An oxygen mask was put on Kousei, and he finally passed out and was carried away to the hospital for further care. Tears were streaming from his eyes.

In the midst of this, Akira Kaneyama, Shizuka Kishida and Mr. Kishida were all being arrested for various crimes. They were just arguing with each other as they were being taken away. Masao then told the still-wet Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari "It's ironic, isn't it? Here I am, the so-called lucky one who got adopted and yet, I never could find the one thing that you guys, and Kousei, have always had. You're happy with yourselves and with each other. That's a real blessing. So, what can I do to pay you guys back for saving my life?" Tsubaki beamed and said "Funny you should ask. Can you give us 35 million yen so we can save the bakery/orphanage?"

Masao said "No, sorry. The guy that adopted me? He shipped me off to military school when I was seven. And then, he just tried to murder me and run off with my wife, whom I was forced to marry by that madman after I graduated from school. And you expect me to just give money to the women who handed me over to that monster? I'm sorry, guys. I would do anything for those kids and you guys, and even Kousei, but I can't do that. I'm sorry!" A police officer walked over to Masao, and said "Excuse me, Mr. Kishida. Could you come over here give us your statement?" Masao said "Yeah..." and walked with the officer. Kaori and Tsubaki were in tears. Akamaru then got on Watari's shoulder. Kaori then gave Tsubaki a navel poke and said in an almost tearful voice "Donut remover!" as she continued to shed tears silently.

_~TWO MONTHS LATER~_  
Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari returned to the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage, using their golf cart to get to it. They were all in casual clothing, with Kaori wearing, what else? Her Saskatchewan Roughrider gear. They all sighed, seeing their business boarded up and closed down. Kaori said "Damn, we sure botched this one pretty good..." Tsubaki asked "What else is new?" Kaori then noticed two things: A framed picture of Kousei Arima and her violin case and violin on the front door.

She walked up to it, approaching the picture of Kousei first. "I'm sorry, Kousei... you were right. We did our best... but it wasn't good enough. May you rest in peace, my dear, sweet Kousei..." She then saw her violin. It had been damaged by water, and it pink case was in rough shape, with quite a bit of the stickers on it being almost peeled off by the damage. "OH, MY GOD! MY PRECIOUS VIOLIN! IT'S RUINED! DESTROYED!" She started to sob as she hugged her damaged violin. In it was a note that read:

_MY DEAREST KAORI:_

_IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET I MUST SAY THAT YOUR VIOLIN WAS DAMAGED IN A FLOOD WE HAD EXPERIENCED SHORTLY BEFORE WE CLOSED DOWN. I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR ALL THIS AND PLEASE KNOW THAT WE WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD OF YOU, NO MATTER WHAT; WE HOPE WE CAN MAKE THIS UP TO YOU SOMEDAY..._

_OURS, YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER,  
RYOKO AND YOSHIYUKI MIYAZONO_

"I can't fucking believe it..." Kaori wept softly. "We lost Kousei, and my violin, damaged in a flood!" Tsubaki asked "What's going to happen to those kids and all those baked goods?" Watari then said "I'm gonna miss those guys. Why, it's almost like I can still hear the sweet childhood sounds of laughter and swimming and tennis!" Kaori, still choked up, said, "I know what you mean..."

Kaori then stopped sobbing and said "Wait a minute. We didn't have swimming and tennis!" Watari added "And we didn't have laughter!" Just then, a man in a construction suit headed up to the three. "Alright, you three, move along. You can't stay here. This area's selected for construction. What are you all doing here anyway?" Tsubaki then said "We were trying to get 35 million yen to save the Arima/Miyazono Bakery and Orphanage. But we failed to get the money after Shizuka Kishida got arrested and sent away to jail..."

The man said "Ha ha. You fell for that old gag? Who needs the 35 million yen for the old bakery/orphanage when you got a new bakery/orphanage next to this one!" Just then, a softball landed near Tsubaki. Kaori said, an excited tone, "A new orphanage? You guys!" Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari ran over to the site of the new Bakery/Orphanage. What they saw was something even better: It had become the Arima/Miyazono Bakery/Orphanage/Spa.

It was now almost something like a country club, or a luxury hotel. Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki looked on in excitement. "Good god... this is even better than I thought!" What they saw was Kousei's father, Takahiko playing ping-pong with Kaori's father, Yoshiyuki, and Takahiko was about to win. When he did, Yoshiyuki said "Aww, 21-10. Best two out of three, Takahiko?" Takahiko smiled at him and said "Sure, why not."

Everyone was having a good time. Ryoko, Kaori's mother, was instructing a group of teens in a yoga exercise, wearing workout clothing. A now-healthy Kousei was, pretending to play CFL football with him and Tsubaki's classmate, Nao Kashiwagi, Kousei's friends, Takeshi Aiza, Emi Igawa and Takeshi's sister, Nagi. Kousei said, as he was preparing to throw the CFL ball, "OK, Nao, Takeshi, Emi and Nagi. Let's see how far I can throw this football. I think I can throw it at least 50 or so yards/46 or so meters!"

His friends exclaimed excitedly, and he threw the ball as his friends ran to catch it. Emi Igawa caught it; Kousei and his friends were all wearing CFL gear, Kousei in a tank top of the BC Lions, Nao wearing a Calgary Stampeders T-shirt, Emi in an Edmonton Eskimos jersey, Takeshi in a Toronto Argonauts jersey, and Nagi in a Hamilton Tiger-Cats T-shirt. As Emi caught the ball, she said "I got it, Kousei!" She walked back to Kousei and handed the football back to him. He smiled and said to her, "Nice catch, Emi..."

Tsubaki said "Look, they have golf!" Kaori exclaimed "And basketball!" Watari said "And Tennis!" Watari added, saying "Hubba, hubba, is that Hiroko?" It sure was, and Hiroko was in a sleeveless workout top and black biker shorts, exposing her pretty well-toned physique for a woman her age. Kaori said "Wow, man, damn... Hiroko is quite well toned!"

Just then, Ryoko Miyazono, in her workout clothing, stopped her yoga session momentarily to tend to some kids over at the pool's diving board "That's it! I told you one at a time on that board. You all just lost your diving privileges for the rest of the day! The party's over, you little water weasels!" Kaori then wanted to know "What's going on here?" Ryoko looked her daughter. "Kaori... Tsubaki... Watari?"

All three of them walked up to Kaori's mother. Ryoko put her arms out for Kaori. "Come here..." Kaori came towards her mother, and the two embraced and hugged each other. "Kaori... I'm glad to see you again. I'm proud of you. My dear sweet daughter, I never envisioned the day that you would one day succeed in life, and you have in a major way. Even though it wasn't the way I wanted you to be famous; I wanted you to be a popular classical musician and not a reality TV star, you have done us, the Miyazonos and Arimas proud. And I'm glad I have the old you back... you looked weird in that punk get up. I'm happy to have my old daughter back the way I wanted her... and I owe your friends Tsubaki and Watari a big apology for the way I've treated them over the years." Yoshiyuki wanted to congratulate her daughter, and came up to her.

"Kaori, dearie... I'm proud of you too. I'm glad I raised a daughter that is now famous... and I am glad to have you back. Mr. Arima is pleased, too... he's proud of you, Kaori, and so is Kousei..." A group of kids, and Kousei cheered "KAORI! TSUBAKI! WATARI!" They all embraced and high-fived each other. Kousei said "Hey, guys..." Kaori shed tears of joy this time, saying "KOUSEI! YOU'RE BACK TO YOUR OLD SELF AGAIN!" as the two hugged each other.

Kousei said, with a smile, "Yes, I am. They fully restored me... the doctors say I might live to a century now! I've never felt so... ALIVE!" He then walked on his hands. "If I was still ill, Kaori, would I not be able to do that? That, and some of the water kind of poisoned me as well..." he said. Tsubaki said "Nobody listens to me. I told you there's too much iron in the water!" Kousei said to his friends as he sat down on a lounge chair "It's nothing, you guys. You've actually succeeded beyond yours and my wildest dreams combined!"

Kousei's father, Takahiko came up to the three "Guys, where have you been? We've been looking for you everywhere... and I see that you've noticed my son is back to his old self again." Kaori sighed "Well, I guess we just didn't have the nerve to come back and tell you we failed..." Takahiko reminded her "Kaori, you and your friends didn't fail. Look at our new home... you've restored our business and turned it into something better!"

Kaori asked "New home? Who paid for all this?!" Kousei said "You did, Kaori!" The same female producer from _Terrace House_, alongside her male assistant, said "Kousei's right. The money's coming out of your pocket. By the way, Miss Miyazono, my name is Yumiko Ayase, I'm the producer of _Terrace House_. This is my assistant producer, Natsuki Yazawa. Sorry we didn't tell our names to you earlier, Kaori. Nice to meet you."

Kaori said to Yumiko "Nice to meet you both, Miss Ayase and Mr. Yazawa. Sorry, slick, but we don't have that kind of dough." Yumiko said "Oh, you will. See, the network has taken the liberty of paying off the bakery/orphanage's debts and building the new complex. Think of it as an advance. All you gotta do is sign right here, Kaori Miyazono, Ryouta Watari and Tsubaki Sawabe. You too, Kousei Arima. And you and your friends will be the stars of our next big reality show, _The Music Bakery_. What do you say?" Yumiko presented them with a contract. Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari said "You got it, Yumiko!" They all signed the contract happily. Kousei came over shortly and signed it as well. "Oh. And by the way, the _Terrace House_ guys pitched in for the down payment."

Just then, Hiroko, wearing her workout clothing, came towards Kaori with a gold-colored violin case. "Kaori... we also had plenty of money left over after all the debts were paid off. I know that your violin was destroyed with the old building, and while nothing can truly replace it, this is the next best thing: We all pitched in and got you a new one." Kaori opened the gold case, and inside it was a shiny, new violin. Kaori looked on in awe over it. "WOW, THIS IS AMAZING!" she said.

Hiroko told her "It's one of the best quality violins, made in Germany. It's among one of the highest-quality violins used by the best orchestra musicians." Kaori said "This is just wonderful! Mom, dad, Hiroko... I owe you one." Kaori then hugged her mother and father. Hiroko told Kousei "By the way, Kousei, your captors, Mr. Takayoshi Kishida, Akira Kaneyama and Shizuka Kishida were convicted of their crimes and will all be going away for a _long_ time." Kousei said, in a satisfied tone of voice "Well, it's good to know the Kishidas won't be bothering me anymore..."

Moments later, Masao showed up, with his new flame, the same receptionist at the law office Masao worked at. "Hey, you guys!" Masao said. "Oh, hey, Masao..." Kaori said. Tsubaki said "Oh, hey." Takahiko Arima then informed everyone "Gather around, everyone. I have an announcement to make. Masao and his fiancée, Risa Ohara, have just they have found someone awesome from our establishment. So, they have decided to adopt." Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari stayed in their regular clothing this time. "Hoy! Hoy! Hoy!" they all said. "Spread out. Pick me. I promise I'll go this time without any fuss." Kaori said. "Oh, I'm sorry, guys, but they've already decided who they're adopting." said Takahiko. Masao said "So, how about it, Minako? Will you be a part of our family?"

Minako said "Are you serious, dude? Me? And you're not even getting paid? Oh. Um... Sorry, mister. Your offer is nice and all, but I think you better pick someone else." Her twin brother, Tatsunori said "It's okay, Minako-chan. You should go. This is your big break." Minako said "Not a chance, kid. Not without you. We go together like chocolate and peanut butter." Masao said "Well, I guess we'll have to take all three of you." Minako said "What three? I was just talking about me and Tatsunori." Masao then said "Well, yeah, of course, but there's also the kid that we just sprang from the foster home across town." That third child was a boy, and it turned out the twins were actually _triplets_. It was their third brother, Kaito, showed up. "KAITO!" yelled Minako and Tatsunori. "MINAKO! TATSUNORI!" Kaito hugged her brother and sister, Minako and Tatsunori.

Takahiko Arima then gathered around and said to the lucky triplets, "Pack your bags, you three. It's time to go. On behalf of the Arimas and Miyazonos, we would like to wish you well. Three cheers for our heroes. Hip hip..." "HOORAY!" yelled the crowd. "HIP, HIP..." Takahiko said, and the crowd yelled again "HOORAY!" They repeated it once more. "HIP, HIP..." "HOORAY!" Kaori smiled, and said "You know, Tsubaki, Watari, it sure feels good to NOT mess up something, for once!" Watari said "You said it, Kaori!" Watari then leaned on the diving board. Unfortunately, Ryoko Miyazono was right under it, and as it came down, it hit her on the head, landing her in the pool. Her workout clothing was now wet. She was now very angry again.

"TSUBAKI SAWABE AND RYOUTA WATARI, YOU STUPID ASSES! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL KICK BOTH OF YOURS INTO NEXT WEEK!" a wet Ryoko screamed at them. Kaori, Tsubaki and Watari exclaimed with fear. Just then, they all ran off, and Kousei couldn't help but laugh at them. "Those three..." He said under his breath. Kaori yelled "EXIT, STAGE LEFT!" The three then jumped on to trampolines, and bounced off the hedge, and onto three motor scooters. All three of them yelled various things at each other. "DAMMIT, WATARI, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUSH MY MOM OFF THE DIVING BOARD?" "I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS THERE!" "SERVES YOU RIGHT, WATARI, YOU MORON!" "TSUBAKI, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!"

* * *

Then, Kousei closed a notebook containing his story. It turned out that this whole story was nothing more than a fanfiction written in his mind. He said as he closed the notebook and put it on a table near him, "...The End." There were Kousei's friends, Kaori, Watari, Tsubaki, and Hiroko Seto with him in his house at night. They were all gathered with Kousei around a table. "So, how did you guys like it?" Kousei asked. He rested his prosthetic left foot on the table, and he was in a tank top and biker shorts. Kaori said "Man, Kousei, that was entertaining." Hiroko said "Wow, that was majorly funny. Who knew you were capable of writing such funny stories like that? That and I kinda look hot in workout clothing."

Kousei said "Well, since I lost my left foot, I have to find ways to cope with these things." Watari said "I loved it, Kousei! Us, saving your orphanage and bakery from foreclosure? What a hoot!" Tsubaki said "Awesome story, Kousei... I think Kaori's folks would love it." Kaori had one more question. "Kousei, is this story by any chance related to the time you called us _The Three Stooges_?" Kousei nodded, saying "Yes, it is, Kaori. Because you guys walked in on me when I was in the bathtub..." Watari laughed and said "So that's how you came up with that story? Wow..." They all then laughed and enjoyed a good night talking about the story. Kousei had written something that his friends would proud of.

~FIN~


	16. (BONUS) Read Here For a Surprise!

p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;"Later that night, Kousei Arima came out of bed. He was in his tank top and shorts. He looked to the camera, and said "What? You're still here? Come on. The story's over. That's the end. There isn't any more. Come on, now, go home, and let me sleep in peace... go, now..." And with that, Kousei walked away and went back to bed./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;"~FIN~ /p 


	17. (BONUS) Thought Process

NOTE: This chapter contains thoughts from the author. As the title indicates, there are SPOILERS regarding this story, and the original one this story is based upon, Your Lie in April. Please do not read this chapter unless you have read/ this story or read/watched _Your Lie in April_ in full, or my alternate fic story _His Lie in April_.

The rest of you, please enjoy this insight from me about this fic.

It is amazing what a wild imagination can do to your mind. After watching the gut-wrenching _Your Lie in April_ and writing the even MORE gut-wrenching fic _His Lie in April_, it had me thinking: After watching the 2012 film adaptation of _The Three Stooges_, I wanted to put the _YLiA_ characters in a more comedic light. So, this came to my mind.

Basically, in this story, Kaori Miyazono is equal to Moe, Tsubaki Sawabe is equal to Larry and Ryouta Watari is equal to Curly. Kaori, as you know, is (obviously) the smartest of the three. I had come up with this idea during my trip to Anime Expo in July 2019; it wasn't until the next month until I got around to it. The fic takes place in the _His Lie in April_ universe, BTW. And yes, as you saw, this is a fic-within-a-fic. Sort of like _Adventure Time_'s Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat. :D

Would you also believe that the basis for the story was a part of _His Lie in April_ where Kousei is accidentally seen bare-chested by his friends when he fell asleep in his bathtub, and he admonished Kaori, Watari and Tsubaki for doing that by calling them _The Three Stooges_? That's what's got the ball rolling on this story. And boy, do I feel proud that I wrote it. I hope you've enjoyed it!

Before I end this, I'd like to thank my friend, Daniel for helping me out with parts of this fic. Without him, I'd be a just another scrub writer. He's a pretty good friends to me.

And thank you, the reader of this fic, for staying with me. I am satisfied that you have enjoyed this story. It means a lot to me, as both a person and a writer. See you around...

Johnny Garfield  
October 13, 2019


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